I am feeling some type of way today - As you know - I had my son 6 weeks ago - and my SIL - DH's sister just had her son on Tuesday - well I got so much love from all my friends and all the ladies who read my blog and all the ladies on the boards - but not so much from DH's family and ever since SIL baby was born - all of DH's aunts and cousins have been reposting pictures of her baby and posting statues saying there is a new member of the family, etc. on facebook - none of them did that when my son was born and he is part of the family too - and I feel hurt - even DH's immediate family is posting all kinds of pictures of her baby - including my MIL and SIL's - no one in DH's immediate family has even taken pictures of my son - it is not right in my opinion and I feel like my son is always going to get the short end of the stick - especially since him and his new cousin are only six weeks apart.
I know this is pety but it is my blog and I am going to say it - the thing is it goes back to the infertility - John and I tried so very hard for this child - we spend so much money and went through so much to get him and he is truly a mircale - and she just got pregnant and was not even trying - nothing saying that every child is not a mircale - I am just feeling some type of way - after everything we have been through - for my child to be pushed aside and outshined already just makes me sad. The harder part is as most of you know I do not have any family - so if DH's family is going to always play favorites then that is totally not fair to my child.
I have to say I am not happy at all that the babies are only 6 weeks apart - and what I feared has happened and I have a feeling it is going to be like this for the rest of their lives.
8 comments:
Oh my goodness...I can't believe that your ILs are acting that way. That is sad and unfortunate, especially since you don't have any immediate family. How does your DH feel? Can you get him to say something?
I have a feeling that the same thing is going to happen with my family vs. my sister's baby. I'm already dreading it.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. It is unfair and I just don't understand what type of people would do that to their own family. Your husband should definitely say something.
At the end of the day, your little guy is loved SO much my his mamma and daddy and that's all that matters.
Ugh, how frustrating! I do hope that it's just "new baby fever" (though why they got it with the cousin and not with Colin, who knows) and that the disparities in their reactions die over time.
In other notes, your new blog header is absolutely adorable!
I'm sorry. I don't think it's petty at all! That sounds extremely hurtful. Hugs.
First, LOVE the blog header! Too adorable!
Second, how does your husband feel about the issue? I don't know what his life was like growing up, if his sister was favored throughout childhood or not, but I am wondering if there is some longer history. Perhaps it is also that just because she is their direct blood and the one who was pregnant, they feel more attached. As in, yes their son just had a baby, but he wasn't the one pregnant, so it feels different or something. It's understandable to a slight degree, but they've gone much further than that.
I wouldn't worry about the little guy, though. Not saying his cousin won't grow up feeling loved and wanted, but the love you (and your friends!) have for him is such a special and strong one that he will without a doubt grow up knowing that he is truly loved and adored and wanted, feeling very secure in that.
You are not alone in your feelings. As I've experienced more and more of this, I think I finally understand why people tend to make their own "families" out of friends.
http://instant-mommy.blogspot.com/
its the mom/daughter thing...get used to it.
I find my mother in law is much closer to her daughter and her daughter's children.
I, like you, lost my mom long before I became a mom. Face it J, we lost out on a huge part of being of mom. Sharing the joys and sorrows and everything in between, when you become a mom and you have no mom.
They mean you or your son no harm, just thoughtless.
Your son is precious and he will shine on his own. You are his mommy and toot his horn whenever you want.
Sorry to say that I know how you feel, my advice, dont make a big deal of it with your husband, right now, cling to him, the pictures of him with Colin show how much he loves his little boy.
Your mom is watching over your beautiful son...I know it hurts, but just think of how exciting it would be to be able to have your own mom cooing over him. That was the only thing that kept me going. Knowing that MY mom would have treated my two children like a prince and princess, ESPECIALLY after years of infertility.
Girl, sometimes I think our lives are toooooo similar!
Too bad I live in Canada and you are way down south!
Lots of Love
kimberly canada
my mother in law told my husbands younger brother that his children were the only ones she would consider to be her first grandchildren..but soon after he had their first, she called my husband and told him that she never wanted to see ours again because they were "genetically defective" because of me. the woman has always been a hateful sow, and at the time she said it, we only had 6 kids..we had our 7th who does have genetic problems, and it still hurts! people are just cruel!
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