Could I be Stressed?

Is that is what is causing my stomach issues and headaches?? Let me give you a run down of what is going on in my life and you tell me.

1. My Godmother - my Aunt Alma - she has been very sick - was in the hospital 3 weeks ago for C-Diff - she just lost her long time boyfriend of 30 years in Feb - she is all alone and depressed and she calls me all of the time - sometimes three times a day - I am over there twice a week - going food shopping for her and picking her up things - and while she was in the hospital I was there everyday - I am all she has - I had to spend the whole day with her last Saturday instead of going to a pool party - because she was scared to be alone. I love her but it is alot of work - I have been trying to contact her family - she has nieces - no children - but they really do not care and leave it all on me - which is also causing tension between her family and I.

2. My brother - Andrew - is getting a divorce - it is nasty and ugly and there is two young children involved - he like Aunt Alma calls me serveral times a day to talk about his wife - their problems and what he should do - he is a Marine and he just re enlisted for another 4 years and moved to CA with his wife - per her request and it turns out she hates it and hates him and they are breaking up and he is so angry and does not know what to do and comes to me for support and advice - every single day. This has been going on for weeks now.

3. My jobs - I think I wrote before that my current boss pimped me out to another attorney one day a week - well it is going really well with the new attorney so much so that I am not working for him on the weekend - yes I am now working 6 days a week - which can be stressful too I guess - but anyway - my current boss is getting jealous that everything is going so well with the new attorney and it is causing tension. Example - the new attorney sent my current boss a e-mail apparently saying how wonderful I am and that he would like to have me for an extra day during the week if possible and called me a god sent. But do you know what my current boss told me it said - he said that the new attorney wanted me during the week because he does not want me no more on the weekends - which was totally untrue and did not even tell me anything about the nice things the new attorney said about me - like calling me a god sent - I think he is jealous that is going so well - but he is the one that pimped me out. Why lie to me and make me feel bad about myself and my new job??? So there is major tension at work.

4. My upcoming treatment cycle - I am nervous about this - what the outcome will be - if it works - will I be so nervous all of the time I cannot even enjoy my pregnancy and if it does not work what do we do from there??

So as you can see I have alot on my plate right now in addition to all the regular and daily chores that come with life. So I do not know if my stomach and headaches issues are a seriously problem or just stress. I am also nervous about going to the doctors and finding out what is going on - but I have to - I wake up every morning feeling horrible and have to stay close to a bathroom at all times - that is no way to live.

Issues

I made an appointment for John and I to get our bloodwork done. We are both having our bloodwork done on Friday - in the morning - I am having a RPL panel done and John is having some genetic testing done - I will be happy to have that out of the way.

I have been having some stomach issues for the past month or so - not really sure what is going on with me - at first I thought it was my diet - so I cut out alot of sweets - starting adding in alot of fruits and lots of water - then I cut out caffeine - which I wanted to do anyway before my treatment cycle - and added in juice instead of coffee. Still nothing is working - I started Activa today - but I am worried - I was going to give it another week but I decide to call my doctor and make an appointment - my appointment of course is not until next Wed- the 7th - but I want to make sure everything is okay because it is not like me to have such stomach issues.

I did tell her that about 3 weeks ago my godmother was in the hospital with C-Diff and she seemed concerned about that - I doubt I have C-Diff - not really sure though - I have been having alot of headaches. I hope it is nothing serious and they are able to figure out what is going on with me before I start my treatment.

Our Anniversary in Pictures

So Happy with my new bag - my hubby spoils me!!!

My Anniversary Gift - the Coach Bag I wanted!!

My Johnny at Dinner

Our Dinner at Azie

My salad at Azie

Four Years of Marriage

Today John and I are celebrating four years of marriage!!

Consult went well

They were all so warm and welcoming - my RE did give me the pity face though - and I said what is the sad face for - do not give me the sad face and then he smiled - I told him I was okay and he even noticed my hair - last time I was there it was long - like really long and dark - now it is short and blond - all of the nurses were so warm and welcoming too.

We talked about the FET - I am going to do a natural FET - taking only baby aspirin and prenatals and I will be monitored like it is an IUI - once I O then they will start to defrost the embies. He wants to defrost 3 - day 2 embryos and see if they make it to day 5 growing and if they do not then he will thaw the day 5 embryos so our cycle does not need to get canceled - he said he rather start with the day 2 embryos - which makes sense. Use the day 5 ones as our back up plan.

Then he did a ultrasound - which I was happy and surprised about and said everything looks good. He wanted me to have a RPL panel of bloodwork done - he said he normally only does that for multiple miscarriages but he wanted to do this for me because he wants to make sure there are no problems and he is also having John get bloodwork done.

It was a good appointment and it felt good to be back and starting again - so I am suppose to call with Day 1 of my period - not this month - but next month - so we will begin at the end of July - I am getting excited now.

FET Consult Today

I am going in this afternoon to talk to my RE about doing a FET at the end of July/ beginning of August. I am nervous and excited. I have not been there since we lost the baby so that will be strange but I am ready to move forward with treatments again.

I already know my protocol will be drug free - well basically drug free - only baby aspirin, prenatals and PIO after the transfer - at least I think they start after the transfer - I better clarify that today.

I have 9 embryos frozen at this current time. 5 of them were frozen at day 2 and 4 of them were frozen at day 5. I have to find out which ones they intend on using - I really rather use the ones that were frozen at day 5 but I will trust them to make the right decision for us.

I need to know how they were frozen - are they grouped together - how are they grouped.

I need to know the thaw rate - how long everything will take - when my ET may be - or at least what date it will be around - I am thinking between the 11th and 15th of August - but that is just based on my cycle.

Also I need to know when I will know whether or not they survive and if they do not survive to do unfreeze more - or is the cycle canceled - how does that work?

I have alot of questions about my miscarriage and the blood mass that cause me to bleed weeks before the heart stopped beating - I want to know why that blood mass was there and what I can do - if anything- to prevent that from happening again.

I want to know if I should be tested before going into this - like bloodwork - or an HSG or something - just to make sure everything is okay.

Gay Night

This past Friday - I had a night in with the gays. My BBF Ricky is gay and I have only met a few of his friends - so he decided to have a party at his house and invite all of his friends over so I could meet them - it was 10 gay guys and me - the only girl. I had a blast - it was so nice to meet all of them and they were all so nice. I hope to spend more time with them in the future.

Here is some pictures from that night:

Going back to the RE

I finally stopped dragging my feet and made an appointment with RE. We are meeting with him next Tuesday at 3 pm to discuss doing the FET. So it is a start.

I got some sad news today though. My brother was suppose to fly in Maryland for training at the end of the month - which I was so excited about because he is only one hour from my house so John and I were going to drive down and to see him. But he told me today that he is not coming to Maryland he is going to training in Indiana instead - so I will not be seeing him.

I am more upset then I thought I would be - I even started crying - I guess I miss him more then I thought I did. John promised we will fly to CA to see him sometime this year.

6 month check up

Yup that is right folks - it has been six months since I lost the baby and how do I know this - because my OB send me a letter in the mail to make an appointment for my six month check-up after my D&E - lovely.

It made me really sad - I just want to be pregnant again.

Moving Along

I am just basically moving along right now - not much to report - at least nothing exciting. My godmother was in the hospital all of last week - and her family (she has no children - could not have them - but does have nieces and nephews) they wanted nothing to do with her - they said they would not come to the hospital because they do not want to get sick or catch anything so I basically did everything for her - I was the only one to visit her and I went her house and got her mail, etc. I was so mad at her family for not being there for her.

This weekend was my annual Big BBQ - we had a BBQ for about 25 people - we have it every year and it turned out great - they were calling for tornatos but it ended up being a great day with no rain or tornatos.

Here is a pic of me and my BFF Ricky at the BBQ - yes we are wearing sunglasses at night because we are dorks.

John and I are doing great - really communicating well and he is back to doing nice little things for me - like when he went to get the beer for the BBQ - he saw that I was cleaning and hot so he stopped and got me a iced coffee. - decaff of course. Then yesterday he told me how well everything looked in the house and how great I am at keeping our house so nice - it is the litle things that make me the happiest.

Being off caffeine is going well - I never had side effects when I did it before and I do not have any now - if I could only get back to exercising - I have not exercised since my trip to Punta Cana - so bad I know - but my treadmill is calling out to me.

First Picture Taken with my New Phone

Spoiled Brat

That's me. John and I were watching Tori and Dean last night and I said how much I love her boots and how I have been wanting them for about a year now and John said I should get them - and I said yes I should get them - so I go on the computer to locate them. Not only did I find the exact pair of Chestnut Fringe Koolaburra Boots but I got them on sale since they are out of season for $ 100 off - gotta love that.

Here is a picture - they are like Uggs - only better

So now being the spoiled brat that I am - I am asking for a new Coach bag for our wedding anniversary that is coming up - the last Coach bag I got was for Christmas of 2008 - so I am due for a new one. I wonder if I will get it - my husband is saying no right now - but I am sure I can change his mind.

Here is a picture of the bag.

So what are some of your favorite things that you are willing to splurge on???

Finally a Comeback to a IF Comment

John and I attended a birthday party on Friday night for John's aunt. Everything was going well. until his cousin comes up to us and out of the blue said I heard you and John were having problems and I said what?? She said problems having children and I said oh yes we are and she said she was so sorry but she heard that adoption was really wonderful and maybe we should try that and I said if you think adpotion is so wonderful you should try it. I cannot believe I actually said it but I am so sick of hearing people say that to me. Anyway she said oh I did not mean it like that - I know it is not for everyone - blah, blah, blah, then I continued with adpotion is very expensive and can take years. Then I said John and I got pregnant once and we can get pregnant again and walked away - it felt good to finally say to someone what I should of been saying all along to those IF comments. John face was priceless he just looked so shocked.