Bloodwork Came Back Okay

They said the hormone levels are rising but it is nothing to be concern with now - they are dropping my Bravelle dose down to 2 vials instead of 3 vials and I will stay at one 1 vial of Menopur and 5 units of Lupron. They want to see me on Monday morning. It is looking like my ER will probably be Wednesday. They told me to take it easy this weekend and keep well hydrated because my ovaries are enlarged and full with eggs - she said I may start to not feel so well but that is perfectly normal with the number of follies I have in there. Please keeping thinking good thoughts for me - I go back in again on Monday at 7:45 am.

2nd Follie Scan = 24 FOLLIES!!!!

I went in this morning for my second follie check and I have about 24 follies - measuring between 9 and 11. I cannot believe it - when I went in on Wednesday there was only 8 follies measuring between 5 asnd 6/12. The nurse said there is about 10 to 12 follies on each side.

She said my lining was good and two days ago my hormone levels were normal but she said if they are thru the roof today then she will have me cut back on my medicine tonight and that I may have to come in Sunday for a check but if everything is normal then I will not go back until Monday.

She said all of these follies could be a good thing though because maybe that will mean I will have alot to freeze but I am nevrous because I am scare to over stimulate. I am hoping and praying everything will be okay but she said there may be some cause for concern - but they have to wait and see what my hormone levels are.

Please pray for me and if you are not the praying kind - please send good thoughts my way that everything will work out and I will make it to the ER and that my cycle does not get canceled.

My hormones are going crazy and I cannot stop crying - please let everything be okay.

Day 5 of Stims

I am starting to feel it now - just a tiny bit of heaviness in my low belly - but that is a good thing because it means my little follies are growing. I did wear my comfy pants to work today - I think I intend to wear comfy pants the rest of the time until my ER - no need to be uncomfortable.

I am having a hard time with work - I already told my boss that I have to be out next week for a surgery (they do not know about my IF or that I am doing IVF) and they said it was fine - but now they want to know exactly what day I am leaving because I am working on a major commerical closing that is taking place on Thursday of next week - the only problem is I do not know when my ER is going to be and he will not stop hounding.

So I told him it is on Wednesday just to shut him up - I am not even sure if it will be on Wednesday - but I firgured it probably will not be before Wednesday so if it ends up being after that then I will just come into work and say that the doctor had an emergency case and bumped me back to Thursday or Friday or whenever my ER will be.

I go in for my second follie check tomorrow morning.

Some Baby Items I Want

Confession - I totally have a BabiesRUs wish list online. I have had it since I first started TTC back in 2006. I also update it with new things every so often.

I was on it yesterday - just hoping and dreaming that one day it can become a registry and I saw the cutest new car seat and stroller from Graco. They are gender neutral which is good because we do not intend to find out what we are having and they have elephants on them (I collect elephants).

Here is a picture of them:

I also love this bedding.

Back from my first follie check

I have 8 measurable follies. Four on the right side and four on the left side - they are measuring around 5 to 6 1/2. I do not know if I am happy or sad about this - I do not really know what I was hoping for - in the end I am hoping for 15 follies to be taken at the ER - that is my goal or at least what I hope for. I guess 8 is good for the first check.

I asked the nurse and she said that she has no expectations for the first check and that my garden of eggs needs more water as in the medication in order for them to grow - or something like that.

I am still feeling pretty good - fitting in my pants still - just some minor bloating - no really pressure or that heavy feeling in my belly yet. I told this nurse this today and she said - you just wait - you will start to feel it. I guess the follies are still pretty small right now.

I guess I will be going in about every other day now to get checked - this time next week I could be triggering for my ER - exciting and scary at the same time.

Emotionally I am not really sure where I am at either. In the beginning I was really excited - we were finally cycling for what we wait so long for but now I think my nerves are starting to kick in. There is just so many things that could go wrong and so much ahead of me. I am still praying for a positive outcome but I also thinking what happens if it does not work. So I guess I am feeling in between excited and nervous.

I go back on Friday morning and she said she thinks we will see more then because there was so unmeasurable ones there today - little tiny things.

Grow Follies Grow.

Husbands Hurt from Infertility Too

My poor husband made me cry last night - he gave me my two shots and then he is just looking at me as I lay in the couch. He was getting tears in his eyes and I asked him what was wrong and he just said that he hates that this is the way he has to get his wife pregnant then he got up and walked into the kitchen to dispose of the needles and I just sat there and cried - this is so hard on both of us.

My husband is not a crier - I have seen him cry maybe like three times in the 9 years we have been together. I tried to explain to him that it is okay and that this is going to work and that thousands of people do this everyday but he was just having a down night and did not want to hear it.

I am feeling pretty good. Some minor bloating happening and when I sat down on the bed this morning to put my socks on - I sat kinda hard and I could feel tenderness in my belly. I go in tomorrow for my check up - please let there be alot of eggs in there.

I cannot lie any longer

Even though I have been trying to lie to myself. I have gained weight since I started BCP for IVF # 1. I was even telling myself the scale was wrong and that it must be broken. When I went to the OBGYN over a month ago I was 136 pounds. When I got on the scale yesterday - 146.5. It makes me sad - but it is my own fault - I just keep eating and eating. I feel like I am going through alot right now and I deserve to treat myself to whatever I want. I know this will not matter if I get pregnant because obviously I will get bigger but what if this IVF does not work and then all I am is fat. I am on day 3 of stims and I am not bloated yet - so I am sure when that kicks in I will not even fit my pants - being that they are very tight right now. Just call me piggy.

Stims Pictures!!

All of my medication - the Lupron needle and the Bravelle and Menopur - two shot tonight. John mixing the medication - he is such a pro now - I call him Dr. John

Me after my two needles.

Starting Stims Tonight!!!

I am nervous and excited but Lupron headache just will not go away - John and I started our antibioics this morning - so tonight I will be taking 5 units of Lupron, 1 vial of Menopur and 3 vials of Bravelle. Does anyone have any tips or tricks - that would be great.

I am hoping for 15 eggs - even though the stupid nurse told John I should get 24. I go in on October 28th to see how I am doing.

John is finishing the computer room as I type - the crown molding went up this morning and it looks beauitful - I told him I now want crown molding in every room of the house. We is putting the hardwood floors down now and then it is finally completed - I will take pictures and post them tomorrow.

Suppressed

I went in for my suppression check this morning at 7:15 am. Everything looks good and I am ready to start stims. I will start tomorrow night - 3 vials of Bravelle and 1 vial of Menopur and I will drop down to only 5 units of Lupron - so I only have to take it at night now. Two shots per night - I can handle that.

They are putting both John and I on a antibiotic. We have to start taking that tomorrow as well twice a day. She also said I should continue taking the baby aspirin. I have to go back for another bloodwork and ultrasound on October 28th.

They gave me my calendar and it looks like my HCG will be given between November 2nd and November 4th and my ER will be between November 4th and November 6th. It is getting close.

I am at work today - I am feeling like crap - but I thought I better come in. I plan on canceling all my weekend plans and just resting.

Home from Work again today

I am beginning to freak out a little bit. I am still not feeling any better. Achy, Headache, Tired. I am praying I am not getting the flu or something - my husband is sick too - I am hoping he just has a cold and gave it to me but the part I am freaking out about is that I am hoping and praying that this will not mess with our IVF cycle. I have my supression check tomorrow morning at 7:15 am and I plan on asking my RE what he thinks and what medicine I can take or not take. Right now I am just taking Tylenol and drinking lots of fluids and resting. I was just hoping I would feel good enough to go to work today but I don't.

If everything looks good tomorrow I will start stims tomorrow night.

I just keep thinking if this does not work I do not want to keep thinking it was because I was sick.

So now I am Sick

I am home from work today. I think I am getting a cold but I do not know if it is the side effects kicking in or not.

I feel sick to my stomach, I have a headache and my throat is sore - I am achy and just feel blah.

Of course one of my friends stopped by my office today and I was not there and my boss told her he was upset that I am not there - he needs to get over it - because I have sick days and I am allowed to use them and it is his fault he fired the other paralegal and does not have any back up - not mine fault.

I just feel like a really do not need this right now - I wanted to be a healthy as I could be going into this IVF but I guess I really have no control over it. I am resting and drinking warm beverages and washing my hands all of the time and garggling with salt water - I just do not want to get the flu.

Plus if I am feeling like this now - then how am I going to feel once I start stims. I just want everything to go well.

Nothing much to report

Today is day 5 of Lupron - no side effects yet - and I think and hope they will stay away - I am just very tired. I have been going to bed early and not doing so much around the house.

Today is my niece Emma's 3rd birthday - I sent her down a huge boy of toys - I wish I could be there to see her open them. My brother is set to come home November 29th. I am really hoping that November is going to be the month for my family because I am going to find out that this IVF worked and I am pregnant and my brother is going to come home safe and sound from war.

My computer room is still not done - the floors were suppose to be in on Saturday but of course they are still not in - if they do not call today - I am calling them - I just want the room done and my house back in order.

John has been wonderful to me - very supportive and loving. He is so good with the shots and has been spending alot more time at home - and he does not say a word when the dishes stay in the sink for days or if we have pizza three nights in a row because I am too tired to cook.

Day 4 of Lupron

I feel pretty good. The only side effect I am feeling is tired - I just feel so run down - not even sure if that is a side effect or not - but that is how I feel. I almost called out of work this morning because I am so tired and I had to take a nap yesterday and I am not a nap person. No headaches so far which is good. John is doing a great job with the shots - they do not hurt at all. I am starting to get a few tiny bruises but that is all. We even took a shot with us to a party on Saturday - we just asked our friend if we could go up in their bedroom and do it - and it was no problem. I go in on Friday morning for bloodwork and ultrasound to see if I am ready to start stims - that is also when I pay a big part of the bill - I will be writing out a $ 9,500 check - ugh. If only insurance would cover this.

Another Blog Award

Thank you again to Life Happens When You'Re Making Other Plans for this award.


Here are the rules for this award:
1.Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2.Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3.Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4.Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know.
5.Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6.Post links to th 7 blogs you nominate.
7.Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they've been nominated.

Here is 7 things about myself

1. My middle name is Susanne
2. I collect elephants
3. I grew up in an apartment - lived there for 23 years
4. I met my husband on a blind date
5. My favorite movie is "It's a Wonderful Life"
6. Halloween is my favorite holiday
7. I love to sleep in.

I nominate the same 4 people I nominated in the last award because I am tired and do not feel like doing all of that all over again.

Blog Award

Thank you to Life Happens When You're Making Other Plans for this award.

All we need is a little LOVE! This blog is about sisters uniting together and giving others some love because life is hard and who couldn't use a little love?

The rules for this award is simple.I LOVE YOU=8 letters which gives you 8 rules :)

Here are the rules:

1-Thank the person who nominated you for this award and write a little bit about why you love them.

2-Copy the logo and place it on your blog.

3-Link to the person who nominated you for this award.

4-Nominate no more than 17 people (why 17?) who you love or you think could use some love.

5. Write one word (you can only use a word once) about what you love about their blog.

6. You cannot nominate someone who has already been nominated-the love has to spread to all.

7-Post links to the 17 blogs you nominate.

8-Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.Here we go! (the rules says no more than 17! Who has time to do 17? I chose 4 people.

1. Think Postive - kind

2. Our Life Experiment - smart

3. Bella and Her Fella - strong

4. Peachy - brave

My First Lurpon Injection

Back from Injection Class

Wow that was alot of information - I hope I can remember it all but the nurse was so very nice and let me ask all of my questions - both John and I feel ready for tomorrow.

Some things she told me: None of my medication has to be refridgerated and she told me to take them out. So also explained what all the needles were for and that there is a mixing needle and an injection needle - good to know. She told me I can prefill our Lupron needles - like if we do it at night for the morning dose. They have to be 12 hours apart so I will be taking the Lurpon at 7 am and 7 pm everyday - she also told me I will be taking the Lupron for the entire cycle which I did not realize.

I will be taking three vials of Bravelle for every one vial of Menopur but luckily all four vials that I will be taken per day can be mixed in one needle. So that means only two shots. One with the Lurpon and one with the Bravelle and Menopur.

So I will start Lurpon tomorrow morning and take two doses - one in the morning and one in the evening for a week then on October 23rd I will start the Menopur and Bravelle but drop my dose of Lurpon down to one - so I will no longer take the morning dose.

I have 15 days worth of Bravelle and Menopur - I hope that is enough - I hear average amount of time on stims is 12 days. Whatever I have left over I plan to donate since I was so kindly donated too - I want to give back if I can.

One question I do have - if you have gotten this far is - I heard that once you start your Lurpon and stop taking BCP that you get your period but it is not like a real period - it is just mild spotting - is this true?? If so, how long did you spot for??

Injection Class Day

I am ready - I have all my questions ready to go and they better not tell me I cannot write things down this time - I need to write everything down because I will never remember everything. I asked my husband how he was feeling and he said he was feeling ready too. I do my very first IVF injection tomorrow morning. I cannot believe we have finally gotten to this point. I think the Lupron is going to be a breeze - I just wish we could have an injection class at each step of this process - first to start with the Lurpon and then go back when I start the Bravelle and Menopur - but I am sure we will do fine. I just keep thinking to myself of all the women that have done this before me. I honestly feel prepared and ready and not scared or nervous - I just kinda feel like we were meant to do IVF all along - if that makes any sense and that this is going to work and this is going to be how we start our family.

I am on my last week of BCP - I am not sure if it is everything that is going on or what it is but I have been so very exhausted. I wanted to watch the season preimere of Nip/Tuck last night - but I was just so tired I was in bed before it even came on. But I am just going to listen to my body and do what is best for me right now.

So I like a new baby girl name

I am really falling in love with the name Quinn

Quinn Regina

Thoughts??

Starting Soon

Injection class is Thursday - I have alot of questions in my head but I really need to get them down on paper - I have so many different types of needles I do not know which ones go with which medication - I am sure they will explain it all to me.

I am starting Lurpon on Friday morning. John already switched around his work hours - so I do not have to get up at 5 am to have my shot. He is going to go in at 8 am instead of 6 am - so I think we will have our shot of Lupron everyday at 6:30 am - and then at night at 6:30 pm - which works out better. I am going to try and make all my montioring appointment for 7:15 am - which is the time my first monitoring appointment is on October 23rd. That way I can make it to work by 8 am and not miss any time or have to make up time.

I am hoping I will be on of the lucky ones that does not have many side effect from all this medication - I heard the Lurpon headaches can be horrible and I am not looking forward to that. I got all my medication and I am ready to go. I am also hoping that the steriod they are putting me on will not make me bloat up - but I heard you only gain alot of weight when you are on them for a long period of time.

I did not realize that I would be on the Menopur and Bravelle for two weeks - I thought it was more like 5 to 7 days not 10 to 12 days. I guess slow and steady wins the race. I just keep looking at it like only 5 weeks - only 5 weeks of injection - I can handle that - One week of Lurpon and then two weeks of Lupron, Bravelle and Menopur and then two weeks of PIO. I can totally handle it. Now the side effects - I am not so sure of - I told my husband to beware - LOL. So I am thinking my ER and ET are going to end up being the first week in November - which means if this works that I will have an end of July baby - how exciting!!!

I also purposely did not make any plans - I figured if I can get to my montioring appointments and get to work - work all day - that is enough for me - that way I can rest when I get home from work in case I am not feeling so hot.

Love

Blog Award

Rules
1. You Can Only Use One Word!
2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers
3. Alert them that you have given them this award!
4. Have Fun!

The Survey~
1. Where is your cell phone? table
2. Your hair? Brown
3. Your mother? gone
4. Your father? gone
5. Your favorite food? pizza
6. Your dream last night? poptart
7. Your favorite drink? coffee
8. Your dream/goal? baby
9. What room are you in? dining
10. Your hobby? reading
11. Your fear? Childless
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Mother
13. Where were you last night? bar
14. Something that you aren’t? quiet
15. Muffins? pumpkin
16. Wish list item? car
17. Where did you grow up? Pennsylvania
18. Last thing you did? Dinner
19. What are you wearing? p.j.'s
20. Your TV? Samsung
21. Your pets? cat
22. Friends? nice
23. Your life? stressful
24. Your mood? good
25. Missing someone? brother
26. Vehicle? sonata
27. Something you’re not wearing? bra
28. Your favorite store? Target
29. Your favorite color? blue
30. When was the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? Monday
32. Your best friend? Ricky
33. One place that I go to over and over? work
34. One person who emails me regularly? jenn
35. Favorite place to eat? Applebees

Bloggers I want to past this award on to:

A Baby I Pray
Think (+) Positive
Adam and Julia
Who Says Life is Fair?
Bella and Her Fella
One More Meatball

Picture of my IVF meds

List of IVF Medication

Medication:

Lupron - two week kit with (14) 28 G 1/2 needles with syringe

Bravelle - 35 vials

Menopur - 12 vials

Estradiol - 2 mg - which is a generic form of Estrace - 36 Tablets

Methylprednisolone - 4 mg - which is a steriod - 21 Tablets

Chorionic Gonadotropin - 10,000 USP untis with Bacteriostatic Water - which is the HSG - trigger shot

Progestrone Injection - USP (In Sesame Oil) 500 mg/ 10 ml - PIO shots

Endometrin - Progrestrone Vaginal Inserts - 100 mg w/ applicators

Supplies:

1 Sharps Container

60 Alcohol Prep. Pads

20 - 18 G 1 1/2 needles

20 - 22 G 1 1/2 needles

2 - 25 G 1 1/2 needles

20 - 27 G 1 1/2 needles

10 - Insulin Syringes

30 - 3 ml syringes

50 - Q Caps

Yeah - that is alot of stuff - who knew you needed all of these drugs to make a baby. Good thing we are going to a class to teach us how to use all of this stuff - because right now I am clueless. I did take a picture - I hope to post it tomorrow.

My Meds are coming - My Meds are Coming

My IVF meds are suppose to be delivered to my work today - I am so excited about it - who would ever think I would be excited about medication - but I am because it makes it feel more real. I am going to wait until I get home to open the box - then I will take set everything up and take a pictures of everything - I heard it is going to be alot. Since my computer room is still not finished my computer is still not hooked up at home so I will not be able to post the picture - boo. I am going to make a list of eveything so that when I go for my injection class on the 15th I can check with them and make sure I have everything I need to begin.

Speaking of the computer room - it is painted - but of course nothing in my life is easy so when we went to refinish the hardwood floors they were runined and unabled to be refinished so John and I went to home depot yesterday and ordered new hardwood floors - a cost I was not expecting - they should be here in a week - so another week or so until I get my home computer back up and running - I did not realize how much I would miss it - but I do. This project is costing alot of money and taking up alot of time but I am sure it will be worth it in the end.

My Brother

I am just so proud of him. He called me yesterday and he is doing really well - they expect he will be home by the end of November.

He sent me some pictures and I want to share them with you. He is the one on the far right in both pictures.

Sgt. Andrew Donaldson, with Mine Resistant Ambush Protective (MRAP) Company, hold rear security with there shadows, Two Afghan National Army soldiers Sept. 23, 2009, during operation Gator Crawl.

Sgt. Andrew Donaldson, with Mine Resistant Ambush Protective (MRAP) Company, holds rear security with his shadow, an Afghan National Army soldiers Sept. 23, 2009, during operation Gator Crawl.

He is my hero.

Hysteroscopy Went Well Yesterday

It was not as bad as I thought it would be - definitely not as painful as the HSG. I thought there would be a ton of water but there really wasn't. He just put the camera up there and there was just pressure from that. He looked around and my husband and I could see it on the screen - they pumped water in as he went through to the uterus. The worse part for me was the biposy. It was not even the actual biopsy - it was seeing it on the screen - both DH and I were a bit freaked out by it - because he used this claw grapping thing - and ripped my skin - I could feel it and I could see it. I would of rather not have seen that part. He said everything looks good and I am right where I need to be for IVF. I had some minor cramping and some pink when I wiped - which he said was totally normal. I rested the remainder of the day and even took a nap - I think it was more emotional draining than anything else. I am just tender today but feeling fine.

Up next - injection class on October 15th!!!!

Hysteroscopy Today

Not really looking forward to this at all. I just do not know how many times they have to look inside of me before they realize there is nothing wrong. I know they do this as a precaution and it is an important step of the IVF process - it is just that I am so sick of having these test done. But I will do what needs to be done - it should not take very long anyway. My test is at 1:30 pm and I expect to be home by 3 pm where I will spend the rest of the day on the couch just relaxing.

IVP Care called me on Friday night and they had my order all ready to go - which I am so happy about. They are having the package shipped out so that I will get it at work on Thursday - they said none of the medications need to be put in the fridge and everything will come in a plain brown box - so I do not have to worry about anyone at work knowing - yay. So that is the next step.

Then we will move on to the injection class on the 15th.

I am on day 6 of the BCP - no side effects - yay - let hope that all the medications come with no side effects.

My Mom

Tomorrow on October 3rd it will mark 9 years since my mother passed away - some days I cannot believe it has been that long - I miss her so much - espeically lately - with my brother in Afghanistan and me starting IVF I just wish she was here. My brother and I lost our mother when I was 19 years old and Andrew was 17 years old - we had no one to take care of us so we took care of each other - I got custody of him - since he was still a minor and we lived in our apartment by ourselves - sometimes I think back and I am not really sure how we made it through - but we did. I give all the credit to my mother - she did her job right. It would of been so easy for my brother and I to get into drugs or drinking and partying - we were just teenagers and we were on our own - but we did not. My brother joined the Marines and his now a Sergent and I went back to school and got my AA degree. It is all because my mom was such a good mother.

Readers - if you mother is still alive - call her - tell her you love her. Or better yet go see her and give her a huge hug.

In IVF news:

I called IVP Care last night after I got done work and they said they still were not done verifying my insurance. So I have to wait. Which mean the package will come with my bosses here. But what can I do. Once i get the package - I will take it out to my car - I will take out the HCG trigger shot (the only thing that has to go in the fridge) put it in a brown paper bag and bring it into work and put it in the fridge until I go home - what else can I do. I was also thinking if the package arrives before lunch - I could take my lunch hour to run home and put everything away then - I will just have to wait and see.

John and I talked last night and figured out the situation with the shots - since I have to have the Lurpon in the morning and evening - John is going to ask his boss if he can come in an hour later and work and hour later. That way I can have my shots at 6:30 am and make it to my early bloodwork appointments at 7:15 am. Also that mean that I will not have to have my evening shots until 6:30 pm.

My Hysterocsopy is Covered

That is one good thing - I called the RE office this morning to find out how much my Hysteroscopy and they told me it was covered by my insurance and all I needed was a referral which I already had in their system - so I do not have to do or pay for anything on Monday - yay. It is the small victories that mean the most to me right now.

Still no word from IVP Care and I am getting a bit concerned. The women I talked to yesterday said someone would call me today to set everything up and ship it out so I would have it for tomorrow. I looked up on their website and their hours of operation are until 7 pm - so when I get done work at 4 pm - I am going to call and find out what is going on. It would really be great if I could have the medication delivered tomorrow.