I was never one of those girls who dreamt about the dream guy or the dream wedding. No one in my family every even got married - I had never even been to a wedding until I met John. I never saw a wedding album and thought I want that. When I came time for my wedding - I had no clue what I wanted - all I wanted was simple - because to me a marriage is more than just a wedding - it is a union.
Anway to my point. I never dream about any of that but what I did always dream about for as long as I remember is being a mother. I use to put pillows under my shirt and pretend it was a baby bump. I keep so many things to show my future children or past down to my future children or use for my future children. Including a rocking chair I just to sit in as a baby and a book of fairy tales my dad use to read to me as a child.
I was cleaning out my closet yesterday and I came across clothes from when I was a newborn and baby - things my mom saved and then I saved to give to my children. It just made me sad to think that it may never happen now.
I try to stay positive most of the time - I really do believe now that I know about my blood clotting disorder that a FET will work and I know how lucky I am to have 9 embryos there waiting for me - but sometimes it just hits you - the reality of Infertility and how much pain it causes.
1 comment:
I know exactly where you're at because I have been there. I want to enourage you to be hopeful. Those teddy bears my grandmother made for me that I have saved all these years are now sitting on a shelf in Andrew's nursery. My dream became a reality and you have 9 excellent chances that yours will too!
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