I honestly do not know where to start - I have so much on my plate and I am such a worry wart. This baby is kicking my butt - I am no longer throwing up but if I do not eat protein all the time I get sick - no little snack here or there - I need real food all of the time - I am going to be as big as a house. I am already getting a belly even though I lost 4 pounds - I wore maternity pants for the first time yesterday. I went to the OB on Friday and heard the heartbeat at 169 so that made me feel better. Tomorrow I will be 11 weeks according to the OB.
My toddler is really starting to act out - I guess the terrible twos have kicked in. He is being really bad at daycare - especially to the younger babies which is not good. I have no clue how we are going to pay for two children in daycare - honestly we cannot afford it - if they were both to do into daycare I would be bringing home approximately $ 100 a week for working 6 hours a day everyday - it is just not worth it - we have to figure something else out but I just do not know what. How do people afford this - I make pretty decent money too - it is just that daycare is so expensive - especially with a newborn.
I am still dealing with my in laws - I currently still taking care of all their finances since apparently they cannot do it themselves. I am also handling all the finances for my husband's business which we are currently trying to close - unfortunately it is just not worth all of the overhead and then you have all the household stuff - wash, food shopping, cleaning, cooking, paying bills. I have no help whatsoever.
John has been trying to help - but with all the snow we have been getting he has been working so much - no one has offered to help me and I am so tired after working all day that I have no energy to do it - my house is a mess which upsets me but there is nothing I can do about it right now - I have to take care of myself and take it easy.
I am scare - I do not know what the future holds - I do not know how we are going to afford this baby or how I am going to deal with having another child or how Colin is going to deal with having a sibling - I just keep thinking of all the changes that are going to happen and it scares me.
2 comments:
It IS scary trying to deal with all the changes at once. Trying to figure out how to afford two kids in daycare can be overwhelming. We were talking about the same thing the other day. But you know what, it will all work out. You will know what and how to do it. And the household will look like a tornado went thru it, every day, but it's okay. That is life right now. It will all work out.
You just do what you can, when you can and it will be fine. Don't stress and worry about it. Just keep in mind that change is hard, but it's not impossible.
Hang in there my friend!
Ugh, I am so sorry and honestly, I know how you are feeling on many of the areas you are having anxiety. My son is 17 months old and suddenly only mummy will do, my husband used to do bath rime and bedtime but the baby just wont let him anymore, he screams and screams. Our second bubs is due in a few weeks and I am nervous about how he will do while I am in the hospital. Not to mention when I get home - I am exhausted all the time. I think little ones pick up on the changes about to happen so I am trying to have grace but its tough.
I am fortunate enough to be home with our son, but I have friends who have hired au pairs from overseas which worked out less expensive than daycare. I am not sure if that would be the same where you live or if you would want someone living with you but it could be something to look into?
Hang in there!!
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