Infertility is hard - especially when it comes to all the decisions that you have to make - should I do treatments, should I have surgery, should I get a second opinion - the longer we are on this path the more decisions that have to be made. Then once the decision is made I question myself - was it the right decision - maybe I made the wrong decision. It goes around and around.
I hope that I am making the right decision with my treatment because I do not want to have any regrets if god forbid we were to come out of this whole TTTC process with no child. I want to be able to say that we did everything in our power to have a child and used all of our options.
I think the best thing I have done so far is get a second opinion - I like my new RE way better than my old RE.
Now the big decision that is weighing on me is the Lap Surgery - I decided to have it - even though every other test shows not a single problem with me - but some women on the nest said even if you show no problems - there still may be problems and the lap surgery is the best way to make sure 100% that everything is okay in there. But I am going to be pissed if I go through surgery adn recovery and they do not find anything but at the same time if I did not have the surgery I would always question what if there is really something wrong with me that they just have not found yet.
I do want to give us the best chance as we most likely head into IVF - because we only have one shot at it and I do not want to have any regrets. But I am scared - I am so scared to have surgery and I am pissed that I have to do this - I wish so much sometimes that I could just be normal - have sex with my husband and get pregnant - but that is a whole world I do not know and probably will never know. I just wish I knew what the future held for us - if it included a baby or babies.
5 comments:
I'm right there with you! I think what you are feeling is completely normal when faced with all the junk the we infertiles have to face. I can say that I've had the diag. lap and it was a piece of cake. (They found nothing wrong. I secretly hoped they would find something to fix.) It is scary to go into surgery. But I think you are right...if you don't do it you will always wonder if you should have and if it would have made a difference. I have had 5 surgeries and the diag. lap was by far the easiest. I didn't have any pain..only groginess from the meds. Good luck with whatever you choose to do and let me know if you have questions!!!
I have had the lap and boy does it ever clean stuff up, I felt all shiny and new... And you know they say that you are VERY fertile after!! Your doing great'stay possitive!! :) L A
i go through these same questions.... especially wonder when it is acceptable or necessary to get a second opinion.
arg.
I think it's great that you've decided to go ahead with the surgery. I feel the same way you do and would want to extinguish every possible test because you never know... Good luck and you're in my prayers!
I too had no symptoms at all, but decided to do the LAP surgery to rule out endo...and even though everything was all clear, I'm glad I did it. If I didn't...I'd still be wondering today if I had "silent" endo, the kind of endometriosis with no symptoms! Good luck to you, you'll be in my prayers!
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