Is a struggle for me - I keep thinking about this time last year and how happy I was - or before IF and how blissfully unaware of was of how hard it would be to start a family or when I was 18 and before my life changed forever when my mom died. But I have to stop living in the past - I need to live for right now. Alot of my friends have commented on how I seem to be stuck in the past.
My one friend said I am too hard on myself and I have had a rough year and I need to give myself credit for the positive things I am doing to move forward. I have been trying really hard to get out of my depression and sickness I feel. I am going to therapy once a week - I am taking yoga twice a week and also taking acupuncture once a week - my work week is completely filled with all these appointments. I have also started meditating at home.
All of these things are great steps forward but do not seem to be working - so I am taking the advice of alot of my blog readers on here and I made an appointment to have an evaluation to see if I need to be put on some kind of anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medication. I have really resisted this for a long time and it is not something I really want to do at all - but I have exhausted all of my other options and I really am having a hard time coping and dealing with everyday stress. My appointment is for December 23rd - it was the first one they could give me. I was told it would just take the edge off and I think that is what I need.
5 comments:
Jackie- I am thinking of you, your path has not been an easy one and this time of year can be so tough when you've lost anyone... let everyone several people as you have. I completely understand and I think it's very strong of you to consider antidepressants. They can help, they've helped me through some dark days. And you don't have to take them forever. But hopefully they will help you on this next leg of the journey.
We will both get through these dark times... we will. We've survived much worse, as I can say anyone who has lost a parent has. Hugs to you.
I think everyone would say you have tried ever other treatment, relaxation therapy that we could think of. We want you to be happy! The pain of losing your baby will always be there, the pain of IF will follow you, but there has got to be some light in your life. Thinking of you always! j
Jackie, I got tears in my eyes when I read your message. I don't even know you but I feel like my words have helped you just a little bit. Oh how I wish we lived closer to each other, just so I could go along side you in this journey. Our lives are so similar. I have come to care about you so much in the past year. If you ever need to vent privately, feel free to email me at kan1965@yahoo.com I'm open to whatever you want to say. Lots of love and hugs, (we would SO be friends IRL) Kimberly
Jackie, I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. I hope you're able to find some relief soon. Thinking of you ((( hugs ))).
I am so sorry to read about the difficult year you have been through. I commend you for taking the steps you need to, to feel happy again. I hope your meeting in Dec will go well.
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