I just found out on Saturday - they were not trying but they are happy. She is due Feb. 15th. Only three weeks behind me. They were not trying - it just happened.
I have mixed feelings about this - on one hand I think it is a great because her and I are pretty close and our husbands are best friends and they will be so close in age and grow up together and hopefully be best friends.
On the other hand - can't I ever be pregnant by myself?? I know it sounds selfish - but John and I have been trying for so long and I just want our time and our baby's time to shine and now it is going to be overcast by her pregnancy.
Second reason I am slightly sad/upset/whatever you want to call it - is because last time I was pregnant this same thing happened - John younger sister got pregnant one month behind me and then I lost the baby and had to watch her belly grow and go to the baby shower and watch her have this adorable little boy - and while I was happy for her - I was sad for me. What if it happens again - is all I can think - what if I lose the baby again and have to watch another one of his sister give birth right around the same time I would. I do not think I could handle that at all.
Also she was talking about having a joint baby shower - I am thinking no way - but I have no women on my side of the family - so it will mostly be her/my husband's family at the shower - so then being the jealous one I am I think they will shower her more because she is actually part of the family and I am an inlaw. I know crazy selfish talk.
I know I am being crazy - I know it will all work out in the end and it will be great to for my baby to have someone to grow up with. But I can see the comparisons already happening - I wish I could just be pregnant on my own or she could be at least 6 months behind me or something.
I guess this is the selfish rant of the day.
6 comments:
Remember to breathe.... Just because it happened last time does't mean it will happen again... you can do this... you are strong.... don't do the baby shower with her you need to have your own for your own little person... positive thoughts will get you through...xxx
I could have typed exactly what MissMeg said. & just to add-I totally agree-no joint baby shower. This baby is to have a shower of his/her own!!
I completely understand why you feel this way, I think I'd feel the same way in your position. But true, it doesn't mean things won't work out for you now, but I can understand the fear factor.
AND no way! This baby deserves their own special shower!
Have your own baby shower! You and your baby need your own celebration. You've been through too much and deserve it! Stay positive. What happened before is done with. This time around is different! You have your doctors and meds and are well-prepared to delivered a full term baby!
(((hugs))) I agree with what has been said already. I would have a calm conversation with your SIL and tell her that you don't mean to hurt her feelings but with all that you have gone through, you really would like to have separate showers. I'm sure she'll understand.
Hi Jackie- I've followed your story since last year when I went through my ivf cycle. My SIL announced she was 11 weeks pregnant right at the start of my cycle and it devastated me. I even skipped thanksgiving because I couldn't bare to hear her tell the rest of the family. And I didn't want to share the spotlight once I was pregnant either. But I have to say now that I am soooo happy we had our babies so close. They are adorable together and it has been so much fun to see them growing up together.
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