"Sometimes you dismiss the good stuff too easily and hang on the the bad stuff"
This is what one of my dear friends said to me the other day - and she is 100% right. I am so lost right now. I am not sure what I want or where I want to go or what I want for my life.
I know I am not happy but I am not sure what will make me happy either. So I have decided after a ton of people telling me to talk to someone that I am going to do just that.
I am going to make an appointment to talk to someone because I need to - I cannot do this on my own anymore - I am struggling inside.
Most days I question why my miscarriage happened? Am I not suppose to be a parent - is there a reason we are struggling to get pregnant - are we not meant to be together. Or is it just because I will come out of this a better mom in the end. I am not really sure at this point and I really need to find out before heading into another treatment cycle.
10 comments:
Jackie, I'm so very sorry your feeling this way, feeling Lost is a scary place to be...but Jesus and I both love you :) and I'm only an email away if you ever want to vent or talk about anything at all!(((HUGS)))
Such a positive thing to do for yourself!! Sending many HUGS!!!
Good for you. Taking the first step to get help is not easy, hell just admitting it was the hardest part for me.
I've been in therapy since November. Sometimes with my husband, sometimes on my own. And sometimes even my husband goes alone. And we are doing so much better now.
IF is an ugly ride, let alone dealing with a loss. I'm sorry you're so down, but it is completely understandable. I think this will be really good for you. If you ever want to talk, or if you have any questions you can email me at Bloggyme027@gmail.
Hugs.
It takes strength to admit you need to talk to someone- and I've found it enormously helpful. (I went to a specialist who did not specialize and regretted it.) Let me know if you need a local referral for an infertility therapist.
I am so sorry to hear you are lost, but I understand completely.
Oh, girl. I feel your pain and I feel the "lost-ness" too :( I think it's a really good idea to talk to someone. I have in the past and Im thinking of doing so again because since the mc, I am just not myself. Therapy can be hard, but once you find the right therapist, it can be a really really good thing. Hugs to you.
I think it is great that you have made a decision to talk to somebody. It's a positive step.
That's great that you are going to talk to someone. It will be such a relief to talk openly to someone and get it all out. Good luck!!
Jackie, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Feeling lost comes with so much uncertainty and a strong sense of emotional disorientation. I'm so glad you've made the decision to see a therapist. (((hugs)))
I think you've taken the first step to halp you start dealing with all this. Sending hugs.
What you are feeling is normal and if anyone tells you that they have never had to struggle to have a child. I had many people tell me that I was always writing negative stuff on my journal - well I am sure what do you expect after going through infertility treatments and losing babies you worked so hard for.
I do want to tell you that it is not that you aren't meant to be a mother or with your dh. I have done 2 ivf cycles, first one ended in a miscarriage and 2nd one ended in one twin dying at 21 weeks along with many other complications that resulted in my daughter being born at 31 weeks. My baby is now 6 weeks old and finally has come home. If you weren't meant to have kids then my daughter shouldn't be here either.
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