I am having some family problems - see I just found out the my husband's big family polyanna is on Dec. 20th - which is only four days after my surgery - so I decided not to go - it is too crowded there and I would have to get dressed up and I am sure I will not feel up to do that - plus it goes on and on we usually do not get home until about 2 am. John was fine with it. I told him he should go anyway - since it is his family and he always enjoys it.
But now I am starting to get some backlash. I knew this was going to happen. I told John's cousin that I was not going to the pollyanna and she does not understand why I am not going - even though I told her about the surgery. Then I told her we probably would not be going to her house for New Years (we usually go to their house for New Years)- see her husband and my husband always have to hang out on New Years - but they are having a party at their house and it is going to be a bunch of little kids there and I cannot deal. There is going to be two very pregnant women and about 6 or 7 children under the age of 5 - that would be pure touture for me. So I told her we would not be attending her party this year and she told me that I was breaking tradition. Thanks for making me feel guilty.
Then I told John's sister about not going to the pollyanna and she said that I better still let John go. Thanks for the threat. When I told John what day it was - he said he was not going and I said - oh no - you have to go because they will think I made you stay home with me. It is alreay going to be bad enough - knowing his family they will probably all think we are getting a divorce or something crazy like that - just because I did not show up - John will never tell them the real reason I am not there - it is too complicated.
This is a mess - why can't people understand that it is hard for me to be in these situations and just understand. I am trying - I am going to have Christmas dinner and I am going to the baby shower two days after Christmas - isn't that enough - 2 out of 4 events - I am trying here. I am also decorating and getting a tree and sending out Christmas cards and going to my inlaws for Thanksgiving - isn't that enough. Why do people, i.e. his family only focus on what I will not be attending - and I even have a good reason - hello - I will of just had surgery. Give me a break.
So now the plan is that John is going to go with his sister to the pollyanna - she is going to drive him there and bring him home. My cousin is going to stay with me that night so I am not alone - I guess we are just going to hang out and watch movies.
As for New Years - we were invited to another party - adults only - a ball type of thing - we may go to that instead.
I guess I cannot make everyone happy - I just have to accept that.
3 comments:
I'm sorry they are giving you such a hard time. Family things like these are why the holidays can be so annoying. I think you are doing enough by dinner and going to a baby shower of all events! I think you will have more fun on New Years at the adult party than with a bunch of kids and pregnant ladies. You have been through so much you need to do something for yourself and make yourself happy.
what the heck is a pollyanna?
some families just need drama... that is definitely the way that my family is.
don't sweat it, they get over it. seriously.
Ugh! As if the holidays weren't hard enough on everyone as it is. They need to suck it up, you are not going to feel like going to a party just 4 days after your surgery and I think they are asshats for not being able to see that.
I am sure you will have fun at the ball! Just relax, do things that make you and John happy over the holidays and the rest will fall into place.
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