Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Not who I want to be
I am so not the person that I want to be - I miss the old me - back when I was a teenager I was actually fun to be around. Then my mom died and I completely changed - it took me a long time to get back to normal and then infertility happened to me and I changed again - I am this bitter bitter person. When I got into target - every single time I go out of there in tears. Why can't I just shop. I see all the cute kids and families and all the cute little baby clothes and I just well up. I am so angry and upset and sad. Why can't I rise above this. There is tons of people out there that have it way worse than I do and they still manage to be happy - why can't I. I do not want to be this bitter person anymore - I am tired of being sad. I want to be happy and I can't. Maybe I need to talk to someone - because I just keep getting worse and worse.
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3 comments:
I just started reading your blog and I just wanted to say that I am thinking about you. I too feel this way- somedays are better than others- but when it hits, it hits hard. I found it really helpful to go and talk with a counselor- I didn't go many times, but it helped me feel like I was taking some kind of control over my mental health- when so much of the physical stuff we can't change!
I just want you to know that someone out there in cyberspace is thinking of you- and I hope things get easier!
I am sorry you have been feeling this way. It may seem easy to some people to just rise above it and not be angry and sad, but it is hard and just seems to get harder. I just want to know that I am thinking of you and can't wait for your BFP. I hope the b2b IUI is what it takes this month.
I am sorry Jackie. I think talking to someone may help, I know it has helped for me. You will get out of this funk, always remember that it's temporary.
btw, I tagged you.
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