I am just having a really down day today. First of all I finally got my period - I guess it was just late because I am stressed - but I had the tiniest bit of hope that maybe just maybe we could be one of those couples who got pregnant on a break cycle. Guess not.
Then I go on the board - and I go to SAIF and some of the ladies on there are trying or pregnant with # 2 - these are the same women I started on the boards with - I just feel so left behind - I just want to be over on SAIF already.
We are going to a conformation party this weekend for one of John cousin's sons - John and his cousin are roughly the same age - and his cousin has a child old enough to make conformation and we are not even pregnant yet - granted the cousin had the son at an early age - but still.
There are two cousins that are pregnant and due very soon with their little girls - and instead of being happy for them - all I keep thinking it I am going to have to go visit them once the babies are born and hold the newborn babies - and how much that is going to kill me - I wish I did not have to go - but that would be totally wrong of me not to go.
Then I was thinking about my infertility and it will be over three years because we even attempt IVF - over three years of TTC - I never thought it would take this long and who knows how much longer we have to go.
Then I start feeling sorry for myself - thinking maybe I am not meant to be a mother. Maybe there is a reason this is happening.
10 comments:
I'm left behind with you sister. It sucks!!! Hang in there.
I hate feeling left behind too!! Oh and sweetie... I do beleive you are ment to be a mother:) I don't no when or how.. but I beleive you are..
As for me I'll try 3 IVF cycles, and if they all fail... "NO more for me".. I then will adopt:) And hope & pray for God to send me the right children..
Still praying for you!!!
Hugs,
Hannah
Oh the days when behind left behind just hits us so hard! I too have cousins who are getting ready for baby ( one got pregnant while going through a divorce!) I do believe your meant to be a mother! We all are and God placed those desires in our heart! Thinking of you!
You ARE meant to be a Mother! Please don't say that. Feeling left behind is a horrible horrible feeling, and I feel for you, but you ARE going to be a Mother.
You will be an amazing mother. Even more amazing than you would have been if you wouldn't have experienced infertility at all. This struggle is making you stronger!! Don't forget that!! (((HUGS)))
Oh sweetie, you are not alone. I am here with you. You ARE meant to be a mother, and it will happen. Some way, some day.
Keep your head up.
You are definitely not alone. I guess there does come a time when we have to see all of our other IF friends become pregnant and move on. I have experienced this twice this week alone. I do understand and I actually wrote a post very similiar a while back. You should read it. And...you do deserve to be a mother! http://missingstork.blogspot.com/2009/02/left-behind.html
The amazing thing is that we know we are meant to be mothers. The hard thing is that we don't know why it's taking so long to get to that point in our lives. Just remember that it will happen and IF will be a distant thought in your mind when you look at the little face of your precious miracle.
I am so sorry you are having one of those days/weeks. You are meant to be and will be a great mother. Who knows why this path has to be so difficult for us, it sure does suck. ((HUGS))
feeling like that doesn't mean that you are not meant to be a mother! it means that you have a goal of self-preservation! those things are hard to do for people facing IF. you have to protect yourself! :)
xoxo
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