IUI # 5 - BFN

I tested this morning - 14dpiui and it was negative - I cannot believe this - I am beyond upset - I was just so hopeful and so sure it was going to happen this time. The timing was perfect - I had three good sized eggs - DH sperm count was up from last time - it just does not make any sense. I will call today to set up an appointment to talk to the Urologist about DH having varicoloes surgery - I wish we did not have to do this. I have no clue what to do next - I think maybe I should take a break next month - and hopefully DH can have the surgery next month and maybe I should have a lap down just to be on the safe side - make sure there is really nothing wrong with me - I just do not know - this should of worked by now. My RE is saying he thinks that an IUI will work and we will not have to do IVF but I am thinking that DH sperm must be having trouble getting the egg and we are going to have to end up doing IVF after all of these IUI's and surgeries - life is not fair. So much for a great birthday gift - it is just another year without a child. I wanted to have my children young - like in my mid 20's - I started TTC when I was 24 - now I guess I will be lucky to have a child by the time I am 30 - this is so depressing - we keep fighting and hopeing and praying for a child and just keep getting let down month after month after month - I am so sad - I just want a baby - we would be great parents - I feel like we have already put two years into this with nothing in return - sometimes I feel like we are wasting our time.