4 years ago

Sometimes I wish I could go back to four years ago - I know it is not good to live in the past but 4 years ago we had just started TTC actively - we were newly married - and even though at that point we had already been together for six years we were still so madly in love and happy. We did not have a care in the world and we have no clue the sorrow, pain, sadness, and loss that was ahead of us. I am praying we can look back on the next four years and say our life was difficult then but we made it through the bad times and we are stronger than ever.

Tonight is our therapy appointment - I am praying John shows up - I told him how important it is that he comes with me. He said he would come - we will see what happens. I am so ready to be on the road to recovery with this marriage - but I cannot move forward alone - I pray he start actively trying to work on this marriage.

Today is also my niece Emma's 4th birthday - I will never forget this day - my brother and SIL were stationed and NC. When my brother send me that first picture of her I was in love - just by looking at her picture I was so in love. I can only imagine the love I will feel for my own child because the love I feel for my nieces is so great. I cannot believe she is 4 years old already - time flys. I attached our very first picture together - she was less than a month old.