John showed up to counseling which is a huge step for him - he looked so very uncomfortable but he said he wanted to show me that our marriage is important to him. In counseling we found out that I get frustrated with him and he gets annoyed with me - not much of what we did not already know. Just him being there was enough for me.
I have been feeling sick again - like I did this past summer. I went back to the nutrionist yesterday and he says I have a stomach infection. My tongue is still a mess and nothing is working - I feel like the nutrionist is even giving up on me at this point. I really do not know what else to do - I am thinking of calling an oral surgeron. I do have another appointment with the ENT doctor on November 16th and I will finally get tested for food allergies.
I am just so frustrated - I just want to be healthy - I started mediating which I am really liking - even though I can only do it for a couple of minutes at at time - it is nice to just sit and be for awhile - but of course that let to crying. I feel like God is punishing me for doing IVF and putting all those drugs in my body - I have not felt like myself since June - I keeep think I am getting better and then I end up getting worse.
I should of never gone to the hospital for my godmother and I should not of been around her when she was so sick - I am really trying to distance myself from her but she keeps calling me - I did tell her last night that I am sick and cannot be around her right now.
All I want is to be healthy and have a family - is that so much to ask.
If anyone has any ideas of what I can do to help my tongue and tummy - I am open to trying anything at this point.
5 comments:
I'm so glad that John showed up! That's the first step to improving your marriage.
I'm sorry you are not feeling well. I can imagine how frustrating it is when the dr's can't seem to help either. Do not think that you are being punished! Try to remain positive and remember that you are getting your body prepared to carry a baby. You will be healthy again and will be blessed.
Don't give up. Hang in there! I will keep you in my prayers.
Don't give up! I am glad to hear John did show up for therapy, that's a great first step.
Lots of ladies do IVF and haven't had the sicknesses you have, I severely doubt you are being punished. I do wonder if all of the stress in your life isn't making it harder to get well though- maybe not what is making you sick- but it may make it harder for your immune system to do what it needs to do.
The only suggestion I might have is finding a naturopath/ holistic doctor. I am not sure where there is one in our area.
Glad you like the meditation- that sounds great! Sometimes using meditation cds can be extra helpful- I have some (you can find them on amazon) by Jon Kabat Zinn- it helps to set the time aside to do them. His books are also helpful on the mind body connection, and he has demonostrated in clinical trials that he can make some illnesses better by doing his meditations. Something new to try!
Hope you feel better soon. Believe that joy is possible around the corner.
I can't remember what your tongue issue is, but I have been diagnosed with a "geographical tongue" I have flare ups every once in a while and it usually depends on stress and the type of food I eat. Just thought you may want to look into it.
I came across your blog from another blog that I follow. I did not go back to find out the exact history of your tongue and tummy issues so this may not even be helpful...but about a year ago, I took a strong antibiotic for an infection(s). Afterward I got a fungus on my tongue and started getting symptoms of acid reflux, mainly in my throat. I had to get a prescription for my tongue issue. Sorry, I don't recall the name of it now, but it looked like a big round flat pill that I had to suck and move around in my mouth a few times a day. At that time, I had an appliance in my mouth for TMJ that also got infected by the fungus, so of course it would not go away. When we figured that was causing the medication not to work, I had to take it out and take the prescription again. Thankfully it went away, because I wanted to chop off my tongue. It felt like it was on fire all the time. So I guess I say all of that, so you make sure that you are not putting anything in your mouth that could be carrying the fungus (if that is what it is) as well.
I then had to go on Nexium to help with my stomach and throat issues and to on the strict acid reflux diet (what foods not to eat, not eating 3 hours before bed and not drinking anything an hour before laying down)and lift my side of the bed. It took a few months for my stomach and throat to settle down.
I also started taking probiotics daily in a pill form to help get the balanace of good bacteria back in my system.
The last think I did was I got a scratch test done started getting weekly allergy shots, so I could stop getting sinus infections and not have to go on antibiotics as often.
I remember all of this being so stressful, which did not help I am sure, but how can you not be stressed when you are feeling like crap and you don't know what is going on with your body.
Hope you get answers soon.
Try and see a naturopath (not nutritionist) - I think this would really help you. GL
http://findanaturopath.com/
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