Every single time I take a step forward I end up taking two steps back. My husband is a mess and I am so very sick of trying - Church on Sunday was a major fail and I will not even get into that. I get that he is depressed but he refuses to get help and I cannot take anymore of it - I have tried to be patient I really have but I am at the point where I am done trying.
My huband has always been a hard worker and a good provider - but lately not so much. He has become the most laziest man I have ever met. I will give you some examples. Christmas last year our roof leaked into our kitchen so the ceiling had to be taken out and replaced - yet it was never replaced - I have this beautiful remodeled kitchen with a huge hole in the ceiling that has been there almost a year and John can fix it but will not fix it.
Example two - when I got my car inspected in March I was told I needed new tries - it is John's job to handle the stuff with the cars because I do almost everything else - can you guess that I have yet to get new tires and it is now October.
He use to work weekends but not anymore and we could use the extra cash - especially with Christmas coming up - if I can work 6 days a week and do everything for our house - including paying the bills, food shopping, doing the wash, cleaning, etc, etc, etc - then he can do the simple project around the house and start working again on the weekends.
So I am so angry right now - I think I have to call someone to come fix our ceiling and top our tree out front and pay to get tires put on - when he can do all of this stuff but he is so lazy. I will have to waste money when he can do it - but I cannot wait anymore - these things need to get done.
I asked him if he was still coming to counseling on Wendnesday - he said he was - if he does not come then I think I will seriously give up - I have tried for so long now - what else can I do - I have begged him to get help - begged him to talk to me - to talk to anyone - instead he just closes up and becomes lazy and refuses help. I cannot live like this anymore - it has been almost a year since our miscarriage - I need to move forward.
The thing I am most scared about - is I am going to move forward and he will stay behind and that will mark the beginning of the end for us. How can I help someone who refuses to be helped.
I just really wish life was easier.
9 comments:
Sorry to hear things are tough right now. Hugs to you.
It is hard when one person wants to move forward and the other hasn't made any attempt.
Have you told him that if he doesn't do anything about this then you are done? Some times that gives people the motivation because they don't want to lose the person they love.
And if talking to him doesn't help...Leave for a couple days to about a week and don't have any contact with him. This works a ton!!
I know all of it's hard, but like you said something has to be done before you can take it anymore!
I'm so sorry... Depression is a nasty beast and it is hard to help someone who either cant or, at this point, is unable to help themselves. Sending prayers for your family.
I think it's good that you are motivated to move forward and not letting yourself get pulled back. It's up to him, now, considering how much you have tried and tried. I hope he goes with you on Wednesday. Maybe you need something drastic so he realizes what he may lose.
This has to be tough. Hugs.
Hang it there, I know its hard but this too shall pass.
I'm so sorry. That has to be tough. Men can be so stubborn! I don't think they want to talk to others about how their feeling. Irritating...I know. Hugs to you.
I dont have any good solutions for you...except do what is good for you! Take care of yourself and dont let anybody hold you back.
I hope he shapes up and things work out.
Hugs!
I don't have any sage advice other than you have to do what's best for you. You need to be able to move forward and enjoy life. I'm sorry that you and your husband are not in the same place right now. I wish there was more that I could say or do. (((hugs)))
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