I think you really find out who your real friends are when you tell them you have infertility. My best friend Ricky is really the only one that has been supportive non-stop thru this whole process. My sister in law said she did not even want me to talk about my infertility with her because it made her feel uncomfortable. When I am on treatment cycles not a single one of my friends ask how it is going or how I am feeling. Then I get the "relax" or you can borrow my husband - I really hate the husband comment - I want a child with my husband - thank you. It just makes me really sad to know that most of the support and encouragement I get is from strangers on the nest - women who have never met me in real life and be so kind and compassionate. It amazing me. I know people are tried of me and my infertility - but I am still going thru it - I am still dealing with it - I am sorry if that bothers you. I am learned not to talk about my infertility with my friends - because in all honesty - they really do not care.
Another note, I asked my friend if she would drive me to the hair salon on Sat. I have a hair appointment to get bangs - I have not had bangs since junior high - but I want to try something different - anyway - she lives about a 5 minute drive from me and the hair salon is in the middle of our houses - the reason I need a ride is because my husband has to take my car to get inspected - anyway - she said no - because she has to paint. I really need to get some real friends. I guess I will not be asking her for anything anytime soon. I am a bit pisssed.
6 comments:
This is the reason why I havent spoken to my friends. They know I have endometriosis and therefore may struggle to get pregnant but know no more. They do not know I am TTC. I still get the question of 'when are you going to have a baby?'. If I knew the answer to that, I would be a happier person! Thankfully we have great support network here.
I would be pissed, too...
Ugh* I'm so sorry. That would make me so upset...
Aw sweetie I am sosorry! I realize that some of my best IF friends are online! I think theres just something about people who "get it" that makes them be able to have so much more compassion. But I totally know how you feel I often feel like some friends only know whats going on because I dont let them forget!
You know, I am always amazed by the support from our IF community. I think I'd be in a straight jacket without you guys! I've learned that many of my friend are only concerned with their own agendas. It's sad, but true. We're here for you! ((HUGS))
I agree with you. I cannot believe the attitude/questions/statements that I have gotten from some of my friends when I talk to them about my IF. I've noticed that people talk about this attitude quite often on the nest too, so we must not be the only ones. Right now, some of my friends keep pushing adoption on me, even though I'm not sure if that's the way my DH and I want to go.
Your friend should totally be there for you and be willing to talk about it and listen to you. That said, I think that some people are just scared of the whole topic and don't know what to do or say. That's definitely not an excuse for them, just an observation.
I've learned to be very careful who I talk to. I only have one friend who I can confide in and talk to. She is so sweet and totally understands!
When I told one of my friends that I would be going through IVF she was uncomfortable because of the whole extra embryo concept and told me that she would have to make sure that all of those embryos were adopted by other families, something that DH and I definitely don't want to do. SIGH.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this lack of support. I wish that your friends were more sensitive and supportive.
Post a Comment