I hate to complain because I wanted this for so long and I hated when I was infertile and could not get pregnant I hated when pregnant women would complain because I felt they should feel blessed to have a healthy baby inside of them.
But this pregnancy has not been easy on me one bit. First I had the bleeding - followed by a couple of days of bedrest - which now has me totally freaked out that it is going to happen again - I check the TP every single time I go to the bathroom - I hate living like this.
Then I go to the RE and I think everything is great but nope there is a mass in my uterus - followed by more bedrest. Which may or may not be gone by now. I pray it is gone by my appointment on Thursday.
I am limited to the things I can do - which includes vaccuming - which is not good for a neat freak. I cannot do the wash or the food shopping - it just sucks because I just to be so independant and now I have to rely on John for alot of things.
On top of the morning sickness (all day sickness) which keeps getting worse - Now I am sick - I have a really bad cold with horrible congestion - which was so bad this morning I could not even speak.
I am exhausted - tired all of the time - I can barely make it through a day of work and that is it for me - I do not even have any energy to shop for maternity clothes which I so deperately need at this point.
There is other more personal things that are going on with my body that I will not even get into on this public blog.
All I wanted was a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby - I guess I am not going to get the healthy pregnancy part - I just pray now for a healthy baby.
Sorry I just need to vent - this is not easy and as wonderful as everyone makes it seem.
12 comments:
The exhaustion, sickness and other discomftors mean that you do have a healthy pregnancy. The word healthy is not to mean that pregnancy comes without pains, tiredness, and sickness.
I am a fertile and I have to 2 kids now. Each pregnancy is different, and even though my first was mostly pain free (groin), my second was painful from the second I found out to the second I delivered.
Have a healthy New Year.
Bleeding, having a mass in my uterus and off and on bedrest is not considered healthy in my book.
I know the other stuff is normal but I did not think I would get every single symptom that you can have in pregnancy - I am having a very bad day and just wanted to vent on my blog.
Jackie,
The things we go through to bring babies into this world! After two miscarriages, I finally gave birth to my son last January. I CONSTANTLY checked the TP, had to administer progesterone suppositories to myself, and dealt with congestion like you. My son is almost one - and he's happy and healthy!
This year you WILL have a happy, healthy baby! I will pray that these unexpected issues will dissipate and that you can enjoy this time.
In love,
Samantha
Go ahead and vent!! You have earned the right. Yes, you still feel blessed, but pregnancy is hard.
I am so sorry you feel so awful. I hope it gets better and that all is well with you little one.
you'll get the healthy pregnancy part...promise. Just remember, part of a healthy pregnancy is all the sickness...! Its true...and annoying, but TRUE.
:)
Times like these you mutter the words, "This too shall pass..."
You need days to vent. Sorry your having a rough time. Pregnancy can be harder on some than others, my friend had a rough pregnancy and mine was easy peasy. Take it easy and I hope your morning sickenss gets better!!
Please take some time to enjoy this pregnancy...
...let go of the control stuff and let your husband help you. Your new mantra should be, "Do I need it done or do I need it done 'right'"? His job is to help while you grow this baby. Breathe and let go.
...Take the pregnancy complications one day at a time. You cannot redict the future so celebrate everyday that is a good day. Celebrate everyday that you are pregnant.
Somedays you do need to vent, but please find time to enjoy your pregnancy. This is the time. This is what its all about. This is what all of us would die for.
I am sorry you are having a rough day Jackie! Considering the whole IF thing I like to keep this on the down low but I will tell you that I 100% hated being pregnant. Not that I won't keep trying to get there, but I was miserable the entire time. The constant anxiety, ending up in the ER for fluids, morning sickness. It was awful every single time and if I ever end up with a healthy pregnancy I plan on venting whenever I feel like it.
I hope you get some relief soon!
Eyes on the prize, lady--the same thing that carried you through IF will carry you through being pregnant. I really hope everything eases up in your 2nd tri so you can enjoy the experience; if it doesn't, though, just remember what is waiting for you once all of this is over :)
Hi - IO just wanted to leave you a comment. I'm a week behind you after a long run with IF and IVF.
Some of the commenters don't sound very supportive. This is YOUR blog and you are allowed to b!tch if you want! That's just the way it is.
I get so sick and tired of people saying "this is what some people would DIE for, so just suck it up!" - it's like just because we suffered to get to this point, we are not allowed to complain. Not.One.Bit. Because we DESERVE? to me miserable.
Sorry, No I don't believe that.
Complain away. If anything, because you've had such a hard time getting pregnant I am of the belief you are entitled to complain even MORE than a fertile woman!
People! This isn't the "pain olympics!" don't just this poor girl just because she's having a rough go right now! She's tried long and hard to get here and it's not going the way she's always dreamed. Cut her some slack!
... sorry. I'm off my soapbox now ...
Jackie,
I'm so sorry you're having a difficult pregnancy and hoping you're feeling better soon and able to enjoy the pregnancy you've waited so long to achieve.
BTW, totally agree with you post on SAIF. Could you PM me (MoFree) or send me an email MoSF1103@gmail.com
Take care and I support you 100%
Aww Jackie, I hope once the first tri is over things improve for you. I had horrible morning/all day sickness and took it as things were going well. Things improved so much after that went away. It seems like the mass is getting smaller which is great! And your RE seems like he is really monitoring you to make sure things are ok. So hopefully this is just a small bump in the road and you will get over it soon.
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