Thursday, January 7, 2010

We lost the baby.

Today has to be the worse day of my life - it is right up there with finding out about our MFI and IF and my parents death. I guess it is a death of sorts. We went into the RE today for what was suppose to be my graduation day and they did an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. Since the baby is so big and I am so far along (11 weeks) I have to have a D & C done. I have an OB appointment tomorrow and I will set the surgery up then. I cannot believe this is happening to us after everything we have been through - I was almost out of my first trimester and the hardest thing is that it looked like a real baby with arms and legs and it moved around and I am just so sad right now.

89 comments:

Unknown said...

i am so sorry hon :(

Anonymous said...

I am so, so sorry Jackie. IF is so unfair.

Mary said...

I am so very sorry Jackie. I hope that your husband can be with you for the next few days, or maybe another family member or good friend. I hate thinking of you alone right now. I'm sending you all my virtual hugs. Please be gentle with yourself for the next few weeks.

Rebecca said...

I'm so sorry for you and your husband. I can't imagine the devastation. Please take care of yourself.

Bella said...

This is the worst news ever. I am so very, very sorry. Many prayers to you, your hubby, and your angel.

e Daly said...

I am SO sorry.

karen said...

Jackie- I am so sorry. It isn't fair, especially considering everything you have been through. All my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband right now.

Jenn said...

I am so sorry :(

Jenn said...

I'm so so sorry. I am really at a loss of words. You and your husband are in my thoughts.

Andrea said...

I am so very sorry, Jackie:( My heart aches for you and your DH.

Leah B said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Just remember that you have a lot of people praying for you and your husband. Again, I'm so sorry. Words can't even begin to describe how I know you are feeling.

Kristen said...

so sorry to hear this.

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

Oh my gosh. My heart broke in two when I saw this post. I've been there, I lost a baby, and god, it sucks. I won't tell you it will get better, I won't tell you it was God's plan--I don't believe all that. But, I do know one thing, its incredibly unfair, and that word doesn't do it justice.

I am feeling your pain today, sweetie. We're here for you.

Megan said...

I am very sorry. Life is not fair.

Tabitha said...

This just breaks my heart. I'm praying that God sends you peace and comfort (as much as possible) during this difficult time. Life isn't fair, and I'm so very sorry your dealing with this. I love you and am praying for you. If you need anything, just let me know.

Jackie said...

::hugs:: Sorry for your loss. May God give you strength to move forward.

Secret D said...

I'm so sorry. There are no other words, I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you at this dreadful time.

Life Happens said...

I'm trying to hold back my tears while at my desk. I am so sorry. Please know that we are all thinking of you and your husband.

I pray that the Lord will comfort you both during this time.

Leah said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. And this is a death. . . And you have every right to mourn it. I'm so sorry. I know I already said that. I just don't know what else to say.

jeanna said...

Jackie, I am so sorry and know exactly what you are going through today. We were supposed to find out the sexes of our twins today and found out that there were no heartbeats, I will think about you tomorrow as we seem to be going through the same thing...our OB appointment in the morning and then I will be admitted into the hospital to deliver. If you would like to email me, jeannadholmes at hot mail dot com, i think we could be a support to one another. You and your DH will be in my prayers.

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm saying a prayer for you.

Jo said...

There are simply no words. I am holding you in my heart today.

Hugs,
Jo

RELH said...

I am so sorry sweetie. We are all thinking about you during this very difficult time.

Christa said...

I am so very very sorry Jackie. We are here for you when you need it. Your post breaks my heart.

Stephanie said...

Jackie, I am heartbroken to hear your news. I have been following your blog for a while and am so sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks in the spring of 2008. I went in for a routine OB exam and the baby did not have a heartbeat and only measured 11 weeks. I also had to have a D&C. My loss was very traumatic and the toughest thing I have ever lived through. I felt very alone also, since such a small percentage of people miscarry at that stage of pregnancy. If you ever want to talk, please email me. You and your husband are in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss after all you've been through. Praying for you and your husband during this tough time.
Katie

B said...

Oh Jackie, I am so, so sorry. This is so unfair. :(

Leah said...

I am so sorry...I know how devastated you are right now. I agree that you should be gentle with yourself. You did everything you could do and fought like hell for that baby. Peace and comfort to you....for what it's worth...

melissa78 said...

SO Sorry!!! Sending you hugs & prayers!

Andrea said...

How deeply sorry I am to hear of your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Lisa said...

I am so so sorry for your loss

Priscilla said...

Jackie...I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know there are no words to sooth your pain. My prayers are with you.

One Who Understands said...

Oh Jackie, I am so sorry. Praying for both of you. Hang in there.

tica said...

I am so sorry. I have been reading your blog for a while and I was soo happy for the both of you. You are in my thoughts today.

Jules a.k.a. Julie said...

I'm an so very sorry for your loss. Prayers for peace and comfort.

MV said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AuburnBride06 said...

I am so sorry Jackie. It just isn't fair. I wish with all my heart that you did not know this pain.

MV said...

I'm so so sorry for your loss.

Tracey said...

I am so sorry, this is awful. I can't imagine you must feel. Prayers to you both that you get through this time and find peace soon.

Ashley T said...

oh Jackie I'm so, so sorry. You will be in my thoughts.

Take care of yourself.

PoeticJustice said...

Jackie I am so very sorry for your loss Sweetie. Take care of yourself.

Christina said...

Oh my god...This is so heartbreaking. I am so sorry :(

Allison (Ali) said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. ~hugs~

Kristen said...

Words can't describe how sorry I am to hear that. I pray for you and John all the time, and I can't believe this is happening to you after all you've been through. You're in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry.

jessica56 said...

My heart just breaks for you. I am thinking of you and your husband during this difficult time. I, unfortunantly, know how you are feeling right now. Please know that many people are thinking of you guys.

Gina said...

Oh Jackie I am so so so sorry. This made me cry for you and your husband. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Melissa G said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Triumph in Learning said...

I am so sorry. I don't really have the right words to say. All I could think about while reading this Post.. is Heartbreaking. You and your husband are in my prayers. Praying for some comfort during this time.

Thinking of you,
Hannah

Tara (psychmusetls) said...

honey i am so heartbroken for you. you are in my prayers.

Unknown said...

Oh Jackie,
I am so very sorry for your loss. We lost our little Sprout at 15 weeks and it was just horrible. I hope you can find just a little comfort in knowing you are not alone and we are all praying for you and your family.

Brooke said...

I am so sorry. Take good care of yourself. So sorry.

J said...

I am so, so sorry for your loss, Jackie. I will be praying for you and your family that God gives you comfort. Please know that we are here for you.

'Murgdan' said...

Oh I am so so sorry.

Leigh said...

OH.. i am SOOOO sorry!! i will have you in my prayers!

Hillary said...

This is just devastating, and I am SO sorry. There are no words. (((hugs)))

makingmemom.blogspot.com

Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Suzanne said...

I am so so very sorry, Jackie. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Here from Bella - I am so sorry.

Pero-Luter said...

We are sad for you.. and with you..

Kristin (kekis) said...

I'm so sorry, Jackie. Pregnancy loss is so heartbreaking and unfair. It's hard to explain to those who haven't been through it how devastating it is. Having lost three myself, the only thing I can tell you is that while you won't ever get over this, but you will get through it. Looks as if you have many people who love you and will be here for you. All of us on IF have you in our prayers. Take care of yourself and be patient with yourself as you take time to grieve your little one. Let me know if I can be a sounding board or help in any way.

AsheAnn said...

I am so sorry Jackie. My hear breaks for you and your husband. You both with be in my prayers. xox

Sarah said...

Hi...I haven't blogged in such a long time. But occassionally Ill check back in to see how people are doing. When I stummbled upon your post, my heart broke for you. :( I too, suffered a miscarriage 2 weeks ago. It's devastating, especially when we have tried so hard to become pregnant. Hang in there :( Surround yourself with people who love and support you. And know that there are a lot of us out there, who truly feel your pain :( The hospital gave us angel pins. But we went out and got our own that had the august birthstone in it, the month the baby would have been born. I wear it everyday. Good luck to you...

Elana Kahn said...

I am so, so sorry. My thoughts are with you at this incredibly difficult time.

bellissimorachel said...

Oh my God Jackie, I am so sorry. Please seek counseling or other support if necessary. You made it through everything else and you'll get through this too. God has something special waiting for you. Just keep praying.

akoto said...

I am so, so sorry to hear this, Jackie. My heart aches beyond words for you. I pray for your healing, that God grants you the strength to continue on. Sending so much love your way.

... said...

I somehow stumbled over here through my blog-hopping and could not leave without a comment.

This is such a horrible pain that no words can describe it. I’ve had 3 miscarriages, but cannot imagine nearly getting to the graduation day and having it happen. I wish there was something I could say, but I know there isn’t. Just know that my heart breaks right along with yours and I pray for your strength and healing.

I am just so sorry.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. Your family is in my thoughts. ((hugs))

Nicole said...

I'm speechless and just so devastated for you. I cannot IMAGINE what you are going through right now, and I hope you can find a way to make it through. I am so so sorry. I really am.

Alison said...

Found you from Kathryn's blog. I can't imagine the pain of losing a baby. A friend just recently lost her's at birth. www.therowefam.blogspot.com
I'll pray for you to have peace tomorrow and your joy restored.

Heidi said...

All of my love. I am so sorry for your loss.

Flower said...

I am so very sorry for your loss...words can't express how sorry I am. You and your family are in our prayers.

Megs said...

I am so heartbroken for you right now. This has to be so tough. You are in my prayers.

Em said...

So sorry to hear of your loss. It is heartbreaking. I'm so terribly sorry...

Adam and Julia said...

I am so so so so sorry. Losing a baby is the hardest thing to ever go through. I have been there and am here if you need an ear or someone to cry with you. You and your husband are in my thoughts, prayers, and heart. We will also pray that your little angel is safe and comfortable in heaven with God. Don't be alone right now....and cry as much as you want.

Aisha said...

I am so so so so sorry. Words can't capture it. **hugs**

LFCA

Noelle said...

I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. You went through so much to get here. I pray that you will find peace. There are no other words. I am so sorry.

Rebel With.A.Cause said...

I am so sorry.

Hugs,
Erica

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and do whatever you need to heal.

Anonymous said...

I'm so very sorry for you loss, I know nothing I will say will take away with pain and hurt and heartache, just know that you're not alone.

xxxx

Celia said...

I am so terribly sorry.

Anonymous said...

I'm so very, very sorry for your loss.

Michele said...

I am so sorry... From LFCA...

Anonymous said...

I too am also SO SO sorry for your loss.

LFCA

Chickenpig said...

Having everything you've hoped for fall in on you like this is a terrible thing. I know because the same thing happened to me (at 8 weeks, though, not 11). I'm so sorry that it happened to you. The pain does get better and you find the strength to move forward again, I promise.

Suzy, Not a Fertile Myrtle said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

LFCA

Emily said...

So terribly sorry for your loss. I know words cannot console you right not but please know that I will keep you in my prayers.

LFCA

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for you loss...

LFCA

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry.
LFCA

Nicole said...

I am so so sorry for your loss.