Grateful

Today I feel very good - I guess I have my ups and downs - I will blame it on the drugs.

Anyway - I just feel so very grateful today. Me and John have been getting along so well lately. I hope I do not jinx it - but we have. Every night after dinner we sit on our front porch and just listen to music, enjoy the beautiful evening and talk about about days - I know it sounds simple but it is my favorite thing to do and it does not cost a penny - it is nice to just spend time with my husband.

I am also grateful for my friends - I have about 4 really close friends and when I was feeling down this weekend - after the SIL incident - they really stepped up and let me know that they care about me and think I am a good person - no matter what my SIL says. Tomorrow night I am going to dinner with 3 of them and then going to the movies to see Baby Mama - with my best friend - my cousin Ricky. I am just so lucky to have them and I really appreciate them.

I am grateful for the Nest - I do not know how I would of gotten this far in my TTTC journey without them - they help me so much - they understand more than anyone in my real life can. When I have questions I know I can go there and when I am down I know I can go there and when I finally have some good news - aka BFP - I know they will be happy for me. Even girls who are not on the TTTC board that just read my Nest blog are so supportive - they are more supportive than the people in my real life - aka - mostly John's family.

I am grateful for my home. I lived in an apartment all my life and I am so grateful to own my own home - we brought the house when I was 23 years old - we have been there just over 3 years and I just love it - I do not take for granted the things that most people do - like a backyard - I never had a backyard in my life and I love it and I am so glad that my future children will have a back yard to play in because that is something that I never had - and a dining room - I never had a dining room before - so when we brought the house I went out and spent way to much money on a dining room set and then I got Fine China for my Wedding - that I did not even register for and they brought it for me anyway and I love it - I feel so fancy. I guess these are most things that people do not even think about but for me it is a big deal - I love coming home to my house - it makes me feel safe.

I am grateful for fertility treatments - even though I will have to pay for IVF (if it comes to that) at least I have options - my godmother did not have any options - back then there was no such thing as IVF and now we have so many options and opportunities.

Finally, I do not know when this is going to happen, I do not know how this is going to happen but I know it will happen - I will be a mommy one day!