Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Really??
So I just found out that one of my sister in laws in going through infertility treatments. It is John's brother's wife - I know that they were struggling - she told me that it was low sperm count but said she was not going to do treatments. I told her if she ever wanted to talk or if I could help her in any way - or answer any of her question to please call me or e-mail me. Well she is doing treatments and she did not even tell me. I found out from my mother in law - she told my mother in law (the one who thinks surrogacy is the answer to low sperm count) but not me - she knows all about our problems and struggles - I could totally relate and help her and she does not tell me. I must admit it am a bit upset - I know alot of people are private when it comes to infertility - unlike me - but she knows what we are going through and it would be so nice to know someone in real life that is going through the same thing as me - not that I wish it on anyone. But it would of been nice to know - I feel like she would of never told me. Then on the other hand I am wondering if it is in their genes - John's parents had two boys and both of them have low sperm counts - I wonder if it is something in their genes. I wish she would talk to me - sometimes infertility can be a very lonely process and I would love to help her and listen to her and give her the name of my RE - things like that. I wonder if she will ever tell me - I guess now I have to act like I do not know - since apparently it is a secret - why do people feel the need to keep infertility a secret - it is nothing to be a shame of - it is a disease - a medical problem.
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6 comments:
that's so strange that she won't tell you about it... i mean, it took me a while to tell my best friend, but if i had known she was going through the same thing it would be so easy for me to tell her. and you're family! and it's not like she's not told ANYONE... weird. just weird.
that IS weird that she didn't tell you. i was dying to know someone in real life to talk to about what was going on. being able to talk with someone who has gone through or who is going through the process seems like heaven. i agree with jen. it's totally weird. hmmmm....
I happen to be one of those people who won't talk about it (IRL anyway. I think for me it was all about feeling like a complete failure (I know I'm not and it isn't--just couldn't help it) Also, I didn't/don't want the questions, comments and inquisitions...."Anything, anything??"
Although, my cousin went through IVF. I tried to talk to her about my struggles---bad, bad bad decision. She was not nice and I was very uncomforable. Won't do that again!!!
Good Luck. I hope she realizes she has a friend and confidant in you!!!!
I am also one who doesn't talk about infertility IRL. Mostly because EVREYONE around me is pregnant. SIL Sister friends you name it ....
I have to admit that if I knew my SIL had fertility issues I would totally talk to her. It would be nice to be able to pick up the phone and have bitch fest or cry fest with someone who knows exactly how you feel. I'm sorry I hope she opens up to you.
My two cents: it took a long time for me to feel comfortable enough to talk about my IF. It just felt very personal and I knew I would have to explain what was wrong. I still don't give play-by-plays to people IRL because I don't want the questions. I hope she gets more comfosrtable and opens up to you. I wouldn't be offended though. I think this has more to do with her than you.
I understand that she would want her privacy - I would get if she told no one - but she told my MIL who has the biggest mouth ever - hence how I found out - so I really do not think it is a privacy issue.
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