Yesterday was a very frustrating day. I was on information overload.
I found some IVF blogs that scared the crap out of me - it seems so much harder than I thought it would it would be. I know not everyone has alot of problems but now I am super scared. I am going to need all the courage I can muster up for this. I am not a strong person and I have a very low tolerance for pain. But I am trying really hard not to talk myself out of doing this.
My first and main concern is the money - I want and need to know exact how much everything is going to cost. I also need to know how and when we need to pay for these costs.
My second major concern is the whole MFI thing - regarding frozen sperm and ICSI. I need to know all about ICSI - if they will do it - and if they do it - do they do it to all of the eggs or only half - and I request that this be done or does the RE does whether or not to ICSI.
My third major concern is the ET. I read on the nest yesterday about the whole bladder thing. That you have to have a full bladder when you get your ET done and most of the time they make you wait and wait then you have to lay there afterward. Some girls said they were crying because they had to pee so badly. I have a very very very weak bladder and I have big issues with not being able to pee when I have to pee. So I am going to bring this up at my consult and hope and pray that my RE does not require a full bladder for the ET - or I will probably pee myself.
So they are my three major concerns right now. This is so overwhelming and I just want it to be over already.
13 comments:
oh girl...it's not that bad. i know i only did it twice, but both times the bladder thing was never even an issue. i promise.
the first cycle we did an "icsi-split" where they did icsi on 1/2 of the eggs and attempted "normal" ivf on the other ones. we had crap results. but then again, we had crap eggs and crap sperm. the second time we just did icsi on all of them with much better results.
my clinic had a woman that you had to meet with a month or two before the cycle to give you all of the financial breakdowns. stressful, but good at the same time. those numbers didn't change for us. :)
hang in there. xoxo
Aw hang in there girl!!!! I know it probably so overwhelming to be in the waiting thinking phase but soon it will all be happening and everything will be wonderful! I definitley say budget more than what they originally tell you, cuz you never know extra meds, blood tests, things come up!
I go to my IVF consult on Aug 14 so I am in the same boat as you. I think I am over reading and analysing and setting myself up to psych myself out LOL. I am just tring to relax and not think about it too much. I got a notebook will all my questions in it so I will remember what I wanted to as my RE. Other then that there is nothing I can do right now. You can't stress yourself out with the whatifs.
As far as the bladder thing... from what I am told my RE has you drink 4-5 glasses of water when they call you in... so its not when you are out waiting to be called in. I am sure if you explan to them your situation they will be extra cautious with you.
ICIS... my RE is starting to do use ICSI even in normal cases to ensure that the best eggs are indeed fertilized. Best thing to do is just put it on your "ask" list and go from there.
Good luck! You will do great!
Oh my dear, please don't be scared! IVF is such a truely amazing experience and I wouldn't trade it for the world, even after my unsucessfull and pre-maturaly ended cycle! It really isn't bad at all. I loved how strong and brave I felt to give myself and recieve shots, dose out medicine, watch my follicles grow on the ultrasound screne, even experiencing the retrieval! Our bodies are amazing and God made them strong enoough to endure and enjoy this process!!
And besides, your clinic will have no problem giving you an exact cost sheet, just ask them. And EVERY clinic can and will do ICSI, and trust me I researched it like crazy, it's good to do it on ALL of them and not just some or half of them. I spoke with my Dr. about this and he explained that research used to show evidence that it was usefull to only ICSI half and try to let the other half fertilize normal, but when dealing with MFI like you and I have, ICSI-ing all the eggs is the best, safest, and most successfull way to go.
See? Easy peasy. Hopefully I just blew all of your concerns out of the water. Now GET EXCITED my dear!! YAY!!
Money was our main concern too. Once I had that price list, and the schedule they expected it to be paid, I did relax a bit. Seems odd to say that after being faced with the amount, but it really did just help to know.
Re: ICSI. My RE really didn't think we needed it. With IVF #1 I pushed for it and RE complyed. We did 50% natural/50% ICSI. Turned out more of the natural fertilized than the ICSI. So for IVF # 2 that worry was out of the way. My point being that you should push for it, even if RE doesn't think you need it. Piece of mind means a hell of a lot during IVF and if ICSI makes you feel better than go for it.
About the peeing...I didn't have a big issue with that, but it was uncomfortable post transfer. One other thing about ET. Find out if your RE prescribes valium. It helped me alot I think. We did it with IVF #2 but not #1 and I swear that was one of the things that got us to our BFP. It just relaxes all your muscles so your girlie parts aren't working against the cathetar.
Our clinic ICSIs all based on the sperm count that day, but I have heard other clinics doing 1/2. Ask the RE about it. As for the bladder, yes they like it full, but not uncomfortably full in fact on my transfer this last time my bladder was TOO full has I had to empty in partially. I have heard that some REs recommend laying down after transfer. Ours only allowed me to lay down for 3 minutes. I wanted to lay longer, but nope. You can SO do this! It really isn't as bad as it seems.
I think that feeling overwhelmed is normal. The first time I looked at my syringes I started bawling...not crying...bawling.
THat being said, once you get into it everything goes really fast and it's truly not that bad.
Good luck.
Deep breath. You can do this! I did it twice and came out pregnant and with a stronger marriage.
We ICSIed everything both cycles and if I were to do it again, I would do the exact same thing.
Not all doctors do the full bladder thing (my first doctor didn't but my second doctor did) and really it's not that big of a deal. I had to drink 32 oz of water 30 minutes before the scheduled transfer. No biggie.
It is totally normal to feel overwhelmed. Just think about things one day at a time and you'll get through! I would get so stressed and scared when I thought about all the stuff coming down the road, but when I just focused on the shots I needed to do *today* it was much easier.
Good luck and hang in there
~smilelari~
The unknown is always worse than the actual. I have been through IVF and FET with several other procedures.
The money, well they can try to get as close as possible for you. The medicine was the only variable for me. I had to increase my dosages 1/2 way thru and it increased the price.
ICSI will be determined by your RE. They ICSI'd all of my eggs. With 5 days transfer.
The full bladder thing is not as big of a deal as it may appear. Yes, it is very full and uncomfortable. I chose to hold it while I layed there for the 30 minutes, but my office would have allowed me to pee in a pan.
ultimately, all the money, pain and frustration if you have a baby in the end.
Best of luck.
(in response to your response on my post)of course I will make you a diaper cake...everyone keeps telling me I shoulld make them, and sell them. I might just have to do that...but the thing is, is that if you google diaper cakes, thousands of women are sellling them. hmm...
you know what... just pee yourself if you have to. It's really the least of your worries when you make it to the ET. You'll be caring about those embryos not your full bladder.
I also have bladder issues- and couldn't wait to pee- so they brought me the dreaded bed pan and I peed in it right there on the table!! Don't worry, they've seen worse!
Don't worry, it's easy to be overwhelmed, but it's really not that hard - just take it one day at a time.
Because we had MFI, my RE insisted that we do ICSI on all of my eggs. ICSI really should be done if MFI is present, at least that's what my RE said.
As far as the money goes, your RE's office can give you a good estimate, but overbudget in case you need to buy more medication, which is what I needed to do.
The ET is not that bad. What I did was wait until I got to the clinic before I drank all of the water I needed to get a full bladder. I'm like you - I have a small bladder and need to pee constantly! They only made me rest for five minutes after my ET though, instead of thirty minutes.
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