My friends are ganging up on me now. The first friend I got in a fight with must of told my other friend because she e-mailed me and said I was being unreasonable. So I decided to e-mail them both the Resolve Website link and some information that I thought applied to my situation. Well of course neither one of them responded and neither one of them are talking to me at all now. When I need then the most they are not there for me. I want to cry. I guess they are not my true friends if they cannot be there for me when I need them.
Then my boss is so trashed again this morning - and getting on my last nerve - of course my eye is twiching again. There was a client that was in this morning and my boss was yelling and screaming so loudly about the position of the printer - I went back and told him to be quiet because I was with a client and he said he did not give a fuck - nice.
On the topic of the client - he comes in this morning and he says oh I remember you - you are the girls with the two cute little children. Um, yeah I do not think so.
John and I made up - kinda - talking about money is always hard for us. As I am sure it is with every couple. I asked if what happens if we do not have all the money by Oct and he said we will take out a loan but I really did not want to do that - that is why we have been saving for all of these months. I am a planner and I just wish we had a plan in place. I do not want to wait any longer to do IVF but I do not know what we are going to do if we do not have enough money by Oct. If money was not an issue it would not be a big deal at all. But we are not rich people and it is taking everything we have to save this money - now we decided to give up our Friday night dinner to try and save some more. We usually go out to dinner every Friday night with two other couples. But I guess it is just what we have to do - but being OOP totally sucks. If you have coverage for IVF or someone to help you with the cost - be very very thankful.
Also this marks one year with my new RE. I cannot believe it has been another year and I am still in the exact same place I was last year. With the exception of 4 more failed IUI's and two unsuccessful surgeries. I just feel so upset. Nothing is going right now. I am sorry if my blog has been down and depressing lately but I cannot help it - this is what I feel and this my place to pour all my feelings out.
5 comments:
:( poor thing. i went through the same thing with my "friends". our friendship has still not recovered. the crazy thing? one of them likes to yell at me that he can be supportive if i just let him. seriously? come on! if you have to yell that at me? i don't think that you are that supportive!!!!!
**hugs**
I hate that your friends have bailed on you when you need them the most, I hope they come around or you can find someone else to be supportive of you. We all need our "girl talk", DH's are great usually, but we need our woman sounding board. I hope you have a great holiday weekend!!!
I feel so bad for you all around! I hope things start to look up for you soon! Do something nice for yourself! I am sorry about your friends!
I'm so very sorry, I wish I could make it all go away for you. If our parents weren't helping us out and paying for most of this IVF, we wouldn't be able to do it. We couldn't even afford the payments to take out a loan for it, we would just have to give up this dream. I am SO VERY THANKFUL that we have help, and I wish I could help you too! Keep you head up, it WILL get better soon! I'll be praying HARD for you!
What a day!! I'm still praying for you...for your friendships, your job, finances, and most importantly for the peace that only God can give in your life. Don't feel bad about venting on your blog...we've all been there and are here for you!
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