Some days just get me - you know. Today my SIL decided it would be a good idea for all of us girls to get together for my MIL birthday - I think this is a great idea but at the same time I am dreading going because my one SIL is pregnant and last time we were all together for a family party all the MIL and SILs talked about was her pregnancy, babies and all that comes along with that - I got so upset I had to leave their table. So to go out to dinner with them I am a bit nervous that all they will talk about is babies and I cannot handle that.
Then I find out that the SIL that is pregnant finally went to the doctors and she is 10 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby and everything looks good - I am happy for her because I would not wish my pain on anyone but the kicker is her due date is on my birthday. August 24th.
Then that got me thinking that if we were still pregnant I would be 15 weeks tomorrow. We would have babies only one month apart and they could of grown up together and been best friends and now that is never going to happen and I just started crying. This sucks.
So now I am home from work - I called John and told him about my day and he suggested that we take off together tomorrow - I have my follow up D & E appointment tomorrow morning and he can go with me and then we can do breakfast and go buy a new mattress that we have been wanting to get - so that is what we are going to do - I do not know what I would do without that man.
As for now I bought a bottle of wine on my way home from work and I plan on getting drunk tonight and trying to forget all the pain I am in - even if it is only for the night.
12 comments:
I am sorry the dinner will be so hard. I hope they are sensitive to your feelings.
Enjoy that bottle of wine and try to forget for one night
take care
Oh no. I'm so sorry you're anticipating a bad evening. I hope that they keep in mind your feelings.
Enjoy the day tomorrow and just try to forget, even if it is for only a few hours.
(((HUGS)))
I have read your blog for quite a while and never commented, but today seemed like the right day.
Sounds like a sh***Y day to me too. You drink that whole bottle of wine and thank god you have such an awesome hubby.
I am so sorry you have to deal with all this. I can't imagine the pain you are dealing with, I had a miscarriage before I had my son, and that was painful enough. To have dealt with what you are going through seems even worse.
Hope you have an ok night!
I hope dinner was fun and that your SIL DID NOT talk about her pregnancy at all. Hopefully she is sensitive enough to understand how painful that would be for you. I had to leave a dinner table once at my favorite restaurant because people were all talking about a co-workers new grandaughter and that was only after an unsuccessful IVF cycle. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you and I'm so sorry that you're experiencing this pain.
Oh sweetheart, I feel your pain. I would seperate myself from those kind of situations whenever I could and even now I catch myself doing it. My heart aches for you, enjoy that wine, it is sadly the one thing that does help, even if it's only for a night. You drink your wine babe and enjoy that great hubby!
I'm so sorry you're having a rough day. I don't blame you one bit for dreading that dinner, but I'm crossing my fingers that it goes better than you think it will.
I hope tomorrow is wonderful. You definitely deserve to have a nice day off with John.
Toasting with you tonight- Bottoms up.
I am so sorry. Days like this are the worst. ((HUGS))
Oh, that's so hard. I have an idea what it's like to be in a situation like that, and it sucks. Sending you strength tonight.
{{so many hugs}} I am so sorry, Jackie. Sending many prayers your way, as always.
you have a GREAT husband. I remember thinking all of those things about other people and our babies 'could have' grown up together...but, guess what? It will still happen...whether your kids are a few months or a few years apart, they'll be cousins and great friends....trust me!
Enjoy the day with your husband.
P.S. The wine sounds like just the ticket after a bad day, enjoy.
just found your blog today... so sorry for your loss. i just had a missed m/c and went in for a d&c on christmas eve. my due date would have been in july too.
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