I can barely stand it anymore - I just want to get the show on the road. I want to do IVF now - I decided to move my IVF consult up to the end of August - do you think it is too early to set up the appointment now??
I also just came out of the IF closet to my co-worker - no one at my office knows. But her husband just passed away and she is talking about leaving - moving away - so I needed to know her time frame and I decided to tell her why. Because if she leaves before my IVF it is going to make it much more difficult - because I will be the only paralegal and will have no back up. She said she is not leaving or even thinking of leaving until the new year - which is good. I asked her not to tell my bosses - I hope she does not.
Another thought I wanted to get all my readers opinion on is - how much should I tell people - like family, friends, etc. Right now I am just telling every the fall. But once I go in for my consult and have some rough dates set up - do I share that information or do I keep it private. Is it better for everyone to know or not. Girls that have done IVF I could use your advice here.
Plus I am so impatient because I just need to know- I need to get this over with - I need to know if it works then I get my family and if it does not then I do not get my family. I am so tired of being in the middle. At the same time I am scared that this could be the end. Not so sure if I am prepared for that.
As far as the money situation - we have about $ 10,600 saved - hopefully will have $ 11,000 by the end of the month - I am thinking we can reach our goal of $ 16,000 by Oct - I have hope. Plus I also factored in additional expenses which may or may not be needed - like ICSI - which I hope to do on at least half of the eggs given John poor sperm morph. Also I added in the cost of if we have left over embryos to freeze which may also not be the case. I just wanted to be prepared.
8 comments:
I think it's all a personal opinion. Like I had said in my post about "why I hadn't told my family", my reason was because I want it to be a surprise. I don't want them to think that this has finally worked, whatever it might be. I want it to be a surprise. Sure I get questions but I just field them. My current way of fielding them is, "well my parents were married for 9 years before they had kids, so I'm just going to stick with that plan". Works everytime. :) Plus I don't want that to be what EVERYONE talks about all the time.
I think you should set up the appointment and see what they say. I always feel better with a plan! I think it's good to start getting the funds together soon. I know we are slotted for 6 iui's before IVF, but I already made DH put more into savings. GL! I will be thinking about you!
(btw I am k8enewlywed on the nest:))
It is a personal opinion and if I had it to do over, I would have been more secretive on details and dates. Mainly because people who are not familiar with IVF or IF don't fully know how to comfort and don't understand the process. Sometimes the "helpful" comments weren't always or didn't pertain to my situation. As for confiding in someone who has BTDT, GO for it! I think the hardest for me was having to tell people who knew what we were gowing through that it didn't work. It was awkward and impossible for them to provide comfort. instead they all felt sorry for me, which made me feel isolated and more depressed. Just my opinion. Having IF blog girls to comfort and cheer you on will be great.
Sorry I deleted my last comment becasue it had to many typos it was illegble! here's what I said minus typos:
Honestly, we've told no one and I'm glad we haven't. Some of our close family know we have fertility problems, but that's all they know. I learned when telling people of my thyroid cancer that I can't handle those looks of pity. The last thing I want to deal with if we get a BFN is all those looks of pity from people who don't know what to say. Just my 2 cents.
That said, I don't think it's too early to call and get your IVF consult appointment set up or at least ask them how long it would take to get in for the consult, that way you'll know. Can't wait until you can start!! The end of August will be here before you know it!
I would call now to set up the apt. I called a few weeks for an apt in early Aug and the only thing the nurse told me was that the vacations were not set yet so she may have to reschedule but I have not heard anything.
As for telling...it depends on how many questions you want. If you feel like it may be alot of pressure with everyone wanting to know dates of ER,ET, beta than I would be vague.
I would make the appointment. As a PP said, having a plan sometimes helps to make things a little easier.
When we consulted with the RE, I did not share that information with anyone. Finally, confided in my cousin who went through IVF, got NO support and decided opening up would end there. If you have supportive, non judgemental friends/family then share. I didn't want the constant questions month after month and therefore, decided not to share. But, it is such a personal decision.
jackie- i think you should assume that you will do ICSI on all of them. after all you have been throough why not get the maximum fertilization potential. it is pretty standard to ICSI all with MFI.
cheekyali nestie
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